


The Day I Tried to Live

by Psychoodkiller



Category: Alice in Chains, Nirvana (Band), Pearl Jam, Soundgarden (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 22,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26382784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychoodkiller/pseuds/Psychoodkiller
Summary: Eddie moves to Seattle to share an apartment with Layne, who was living on his own since Jerry and him decided that one of them needed to be with Chris, but then some weird things began to happen; first with Jerry, then with the rest, mainly with Eddie that became friends with a mysterious homeless man, that apparently knows Eddie's name even if they didn't know each other.
Relationships: Chris Cornell/Eddie Vedder, Jeff Ament/Stone Gossard, Jerry Cantrell/Layne Staley, Stone Gossard / Andrew Wood
Comments: 36
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, 
> 
> I hope you guys like it, despite my bad english. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The sound of his footsteps couldn't even be heard by the tourists, neither by him. Even if the only famous person there was, in fact, Bruce Lee, he rather walk without been seen. He had firm steps, but his hands, holding some flowers were shaking. He went walking through the graves and, moving away from the tourists, he could hear his own boots on the cement floor. He stoped and stood there, looking at one of the graves and noticed that someone was there before him; there was a bouquet of fresh flowers next to the photo on the grave and a note. He sat next to the grave, took the note and read it: _"I know you'll come here, Chris... I hope you're ok, if you need something, let me know, please. - Stone"_. He sniffed and dryied his tears on his jeans jacket sleeve and put the flowers he was holding next to the bouquet that Stone left there.

He heard the tourists voices, impressed and making coments that they judge relevants and smarts, but those people didn't knew anything; They didn't knew about Bruce Lee, neither about him, neither about why he was there. They just wanted some pictures.

_“Vacate is the word, vengeance has no place so near to her. Cannot find the comfort in this world.”_

He look at the photo on the grave and thought about the reason innocent and good people have to die so soon. While he was crying, those people just... Were waiting for more pictures and pretending they were crying.

_“Artificial tear. Vessel stabbed. Next up, volunteers? Vulnerable... Wisdom can't adhere”_

Maybe living was that... To search for something you love or for something that make you feel better and die because of it. If he at least had the chance to prevent what happened... He heard screams in his own head and these screams got mixed up with the tourists voices and he covered his ears. He moved back and forth, trying to make it stop. Maybe living was that… The sunlight cut the photo on the grave and he could see the dust floating in the air and he looked up, waiting to see the sun, but there was only branches and more branches of the trees.

_“A truant finds home and a wish to hold on, but there's a trapdoor in the sun…”_

_\- The official death cause was Cerebral Edema..._

And that was the only thing he could hear from one of the tourists guides that was with that group. The tourist guide's voice was interrupted by another scream in his head. He remembered of Stone's mother holding him on the hospital corridor, while Stone wasn't being able even to stand up on his feet and how much he was crying. He could hear Stone crying, he could saw Layne's hands bleeding cause he had punched the wall he could saw Jerry staring at nowhere and Jeff on the window, lost on thoughts. He didn't want to stay there, hurting himself with those memories, but he couldn't get up.

_“I cannot stop the thought. I'm running in the dark, coming up a which way sign. All good truants must decide.”_

He took a look, for the last time at that day to photo on the grave, wipped his tears on his jacket again and got up. Quickly, he put his shaking hands in his pockets, took a deep breath and started to walk slowly, looking at the tourists.

_“Oh, stripped and sold, mom. Auctioned forearm and whiskers in the sink."_

He look back, just once, just to have sure that that sunlight was still in there and it was. He smiled, didn't worried of wipped his tears like before and left, walking through the tourists, his long brown curly hair swaying because of the wind.

_“Truants move on, cannot stay long... Some die just to live.”_


	2. Chapter 2

He looked at the sky reflected on the sea and passed his fingers on the water, like if could hold it, he knew he couldn't, but he tried, as always. He was sat under his surf board and could saw his feet under water, his long, curly and almost light brown hair, wet by it, the best gift his enemies could had gave him and they didn't knew how much he were thankful for that. He looked at the sky; a perfect gradient of light pink, lilac and orange. He lay down under the surf board e observed the wind sway the palm trees leaves, he smiled and, again he thanked for all the things that that place provided to him; the bad things and the good things. He knew that, even if that place were the heaven on earth, he needed to leave and this thought always left a hole in his chest that he couldn't tell the size. After a lot of time there, lying on the surf board, looking to the sky and thanking the universe for all that beauty, the sky began to turn dark and he knew was time to left. He got up from the board and started to walk, still looking to the ocean. When he was already on the sand, he saw a small wave washing his feet and then, with tears in his eyes, he left.

He got home at night, there was no one there. It was better that way, no one would care about it anyway. He took a shower, then put all of his clothes, all the things he considered importants on his backpack, the same backpack that he used to brought all that things from Illinois to San Diego. He took, also, all the money he had saved, it was enough for a bus ticket to Seattle and to survive there for at least two months. He took the note with Layne and Jerry's address and left home, without even write a note to his mother.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Jerry was sleeping. His long blonde hair everywhere on his pillow and the hair strands next to his forehead, wet by sweat. His eyes moving below his eyelids indicated that he was dreaming.

_"Hey, Cantrell!"_ said a voice in a whisper.

Inside his dream, he got up from his bed. All the lights were off in the apartment and he went to the main room.

_"The Voicemail..."_ the voice said again, with the same tone as before.

He woke up, took a look on his room, searching for who was talking. There was no one there but him and his heavy breathing. He got up and went to the main room, nothing wrong. He turned around to get back bed, but he listened the voicemail's button being pressed and he turned back to it and then, he saw the voicemail's red light turning on.

_"Jerry? It's me, Eddie. I'm in Salem. Probably tomorrow afternoon I'll be there... I'm miss you! See you tomorrow!"_

He smiled, although he was a bit scared. He hadn't seen Eddie in a while, he should be different by now. He lay down on the sofa and it took him some time to sleep. He wanted to know what or who had pressed the voicemail button, he kept thinking of it and then closed his eyes and slept.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris woke up with the alarm sound, screaming into his brain. That date always worked in that same way; Bad mood, punch in the alarm clock, get up and have to face his reflex in the mirror, dress with the first clothes he saw and go to the cemetery. The only thing was calming him down was the fact that he didn't worked on saturdays and when he came back home, he could just lock himself in his room, with his bad mood and feel miserable for the rest of his life.

He went to the kitchen to drink a cup of coffee before leaving and saw Jerry, sleeping on the couch. He took his coffee and then went to his friend. He thought it was better wake him up.

_\- Cantrell?_ \- No answer - _Cantrell..._ \- he poked Jerry's arm.

_\- Hmmm?_

_\- I think you're late..._

_\- What time is it?_

_\- 9:30._

_\- FUCK!_ \- The boy got up quickly and ran to his bedroom to get dressed.

Chris sat on the couch to finish his coffee, he didn't knew why but looked at the voicemail and kept looking at it until Jerry came back to the main room already dressed.

_\- I'm going... You'll be ok?_ \- The blonde boy asked to Chris.

_\- Yeah..._

_\- Chris..._

_\- I'm going to be fine... You can go to work._

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

After sat there next to the grave and put the flowers over it, he saw that, again, a note was there. He took it and read it, it was not Stone's calligraphy and it was not from no one of his friends.

_\- "Better go home soon today, dude..." What?_

He didn't understand and there was no clue of who had wrote that note. Someone should had lost it there. He looked at the cloudy sky and stood there listening to the touristic guides' voices.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Eddie got off the bus and took a good looking around him; there was some homeless people, some stores and the people who was in the bus with him. All he had was the note with Jerry and Layne's address and Jerry's phone number, he tried to call his friend from a public phone, but no one answered it, then he decided to eat something and went to a cafe next to the station. As soon as he entered on the cafe, a boy came to talk with him. He was blonde, his hair was tied with an elastic and he was wearing an apron.

_\- Hi..._ \- the waiter said - _Can I help you?_

_\- H-hi... Yeah, sure you can... I'm new in town and I don't know what you have on your menu... What do you recommend me?_

_\- The best x-salad in Seattle..._ \- the waiter smiled at him.

\- _Ok... The best x-salad in Seattle and a beer for me, please._ \- Eddie smiled back.

_\- Alright. I'll be back when is ready. You can sit on that table next to the window._

And that was what Eddie did. He sat on the table next to the window and looked at the street through the blurry glass of the cafe. He thought that maybe, just maybe his mother were crazy looking for him somehow, but he didn't care much that time. He looked at the table, distracted, thinking that Seattle was a little more dark and sad than San Diego and, for a minute, he missed the beach. When he looked again at the window, he got scared. There was a homeless man with his face glueded on the glass, half of his face were covered by a black windbreaker jacket and the other half was covered by a black beanie. Eddie could saw just the man's eyes, but he wasn't able to identify the color.

Eddie took a deep breath and the man rose his hand, he wore gloves and the gloves were cut in the fingers place, he could saw the man's dirty finger write on the blurry glass.

_"I'm starving."_

He kept himself calm and then made a hand gesture to the man, telling him to wait. He got up and tried to find that waiter that was came to him when he got there, but the boy was on the other side of the cafe, so he turned around to tell the man to keep waiting, but the man wasn't there anymore. He frowned and sat again, then he looked at blurry glass once more and there was another message writed, probably by the homeless man.

_"Thank you for being nice with me, Eddie... Welcome!"_

He got confused, he didn't introduced himself to that man. He didn't even said his name to anyone since he came there, nor on the bus, neither in the cafe. He tried to find the homeless man with his eyes, through the glass, but failed. He kept sat there, waiting for the x-salad and the beer, while he tried to remember if he did say his name to someone.

_\- Here! The best x-salad in Seattle and your beer._ \- The waiter said, but got no answer from the new guy - _Hey..._

_\- Oh... Hey, I'm sorry... How much do I owe you?_

_\- Nothing._ \- The waiter smiled at him - _My treat._

_\- Cut this shit, how much do I owe you?_

_\- Like I said, nothing. You just should came here another time..._

He was embarrassed, but gave in.

_\- Thanks..._ \- He looked to the name tag on the waiter's apron - _Kurt..._

_\- You're welcome... Sorry, what's your name?_

_\- Eddie. You... You could wrap for travel, please?_

_\- Sure! Just a moment..._ \- Kurt went to the counter and came back in a few seconds, giving Eddie a pack – _Here…_

 _\- Thanks again, Kurt... Just one more thing... I don't want to be annoying, but you know to tell me..._ \- He took a note from his jeans pocket and show it to Kurt - _Where this place is?_

 _\- Excuse me..._ \- the boy dryed his hands in his apron, took the note and read it _\- Oh, is where some friends live, it is not far from here._ \- He said, giving the note back to Eddie.

Kurt explained to him how to get there, Eddie tipped him and went off. He could remember of a half of the way, however when he were on a intersection he forgot everything Kurt said to him. It started to rain.

_\- Great!_ \- He said to himself.

He looked at the dark sky and decided to ask someone. When he looked to his front, on the other side of the street, was the homeless man. The time Eddie had to cross the street was the exactly time that the traffic signal had to turn red for him. He went to the man.

_\- Oh, hi! You disappeared, I was looking for you..._ \- Eddie said - _Are you still hungry?_

_\- Oh, boy... So many things to ask me and you ask if I'm still hungry? You don't want to know how the hell I know your name?_

_\- In fact... Yeah. How do you know my name?_

They both was on the sidewalk, behind them an office building, on the corner, with 8 or 9 floors, Eddie couldn't count at the moment. The homeless man walked to the right, toward the corner. The street was a slop. Eddie followed him and looked to the top of the street. The little condominium where Jerry and Layne lived was on the street above and, when he was about to ask the homeless man, he wasn't there anymore. Eddie looked to both sides of the sidewalk and... Nothing. There was just him, his big backpack, the pack Kurt gave to him and the rain.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking through the streets, coming back home, he took the note that had found on the cemetery and read it again. As much as he thought that someone should had lost it in there, it was a coincidence started to rain after half an hour or bit more. He never stayed less than two hours there. He dried his eyes with the back of his hand and put the note in his jacket pocket again, he lit a cigarette and began to go up the street, when he was on the top he looked to Layne's apartment, on his right, in the corner. There was a boy there, he had never seen him before. He crossed the street slowly, still looking at the boy. The boy was small, skinny, he was wearing a black sweatshirt, the hoodie covering half of his long curly hair, an old jeans and a pair of All Star. Next to him was a big travel bag and he was, also, smoking, looking up, to the sky, maybe and, when he got to the courtyard, the boy noticed him and smiled, from ear to ear.

He hadn't seen such a beautiful smile in ages.

_\- Hi..._ \- The boy said - _Layne?_

_\- H-hi... Hi, sorry... N-no, I'm not him... And I don't know to tell you if he will came home soon, probably not._

_\- Oh._ \- the boy took a drag on his cigarette and then the smoke left through his nostrils, he smiled again - _Well, that's fine... I'll have to wait anyway, but thanks._

He smiled back and didn't understand why he did that. He hasn't smiled like that in years and he felt his face muscles hurt because he was no longer used to.

He put his free hand in his pocket, held the note and with the other hand he took the cigarette to his lips, taking a deep drag on it.

_\- I... I-I need to go now..._

_\- It's alright, thanks again._ \- another smile.

But he couldn't move. It was like someone had glued his boots on the ground, he looked at the dark sky and the rain and then to the boy again that was looking at him as well.

_\- Hi..._ \- he said.

 _\- Hi again!_ \- the boy laughed.

 _\- I... I w-was thinking... It's too cold, it's raining and..._ \- he stared at the boy's bag - _Apparently you took a very long trip and must be tired. Y-you can wait for Layne on my apartment i-if you want. I-i'm Christopher, Chris for short._

_\- Chris... Jerry's friend?_

_\- Oh, yeah... Do you... Do you know me?_

_\- No..._ \- The boy smiled - _Jerry talks a lot about you. I'm Edward, Eddie... For short._ \- He laughed _\- Jerry told me that Layne was looking for someone to share the apartment and I came._

 _\- Oh, of course... Well, now it's my obligation shelter you while Layne is not here._ \- Chris smiled and went to the boy, he took Eddie’s heavy backpack _\- Let me take your home for you._

_\- You don't need to do that, you know..._

_\- I insist, come on._

They crossed the courtyard and went up the stairs in silence. Chris opened his apartment door for the smaller boy to enter and went in next, he put the backpack next to the couch.

_\- Are you hungry?_

_\- N-no... I already ate, thanks._

_\- Do you want something to drink? Tea? Beer? Coffee?_

_\- Oh, coffee, yes!_

_\- Coffee then._ \- and Chris went to the kitchen counter to put water on the coffee machine _\- San Diego, right?_

 _\- Yeah, I didn't think it was that far._ \- he yawned.

_\- Do you want to sleep a bit? If you want I can arrange my room or Jerry's so you'll can rest._

_\- Oh, no, I'm fine... I don't want to bother._

_\- You are not a bother to me... Please, have a sit._ \- he gave the other a confort smile.

 _\- Thanks..._ \- Eddie smiled back and sat on the couch.

Chris looked at him. He felt a good energy and that was something, completely, new for him. He noticed Eddie had such beautiful blue eyes, a tanned skin and a fucking gorgeous smile. He hadn't felt that good next to someone in a long time.

_\- I noticed something…_ \- Eddie said – _I got worried and curious, I can't deny it,_ \- He smiled - _but I'm afraid to be invasive, I don't know._

_\- What?_

_\- You... When you came... Were are you crying?_

_\- W-what? No... I was just a bit tired._

Eddie nodded.

_\- Are you ok?_ \- he asked.

_\- I'm... Incredibly ok... You took that fucking long bus trip, of course you're so fucking tired and you're asking me if I’m ok?_

_\- But everyone matters, Chris._ \- He bite his lip and looked down _\- By the way... There's a lot of homeless people here, right?_

_\- Yeah, I know a lot of them, I like to talk with them, they're nice._

Eddie's gaze turned to the taller boy, making coffee.

_\- Well, so if I tell one of them features wouldn't you be able to tell me who it is and where he used to stay?_

_\- S-sure..._ \- Chris was taken by surprise - _What happened? Did someone do something to you?_

_\- No, no one did nothing to me, is just... Well, I met this homeless man today, at the station. I was on a cafe around there, I think you know it..._

_\- Yeah, is where Kurt works._

_\- Yeah! And when I was wating for him to bring my x-salad and my beer... This homeless man looked at me through the glass and wrote on it that he was hungry, I wanted to help, but he disappeared. He was half covered with a black windbreaker jacket and a black beanie. Do you know someone like that?_

Chris smiled. He understood why Jerry admired Eddie so much. He had a good heart and a good energy. He tried to remembered.

_\- Well, unfortunately I don't know anyone with these features._

_\- What a pity... - and the boy on the couch looked down again._


	5. Chapter 5

On his way back home, Jerry found Layne on the floor, next to a pub. He ran to the boy and checked if Layne was breathing. He was, so Jerry sighed in relief and hold the boy's head, then Layne opened his eyes.

_\- I died and I'm in heaven?_

_\- Shut up, idiot..._ \- Jerry laughed - _What are you doing here?_

_\- I came to the pub... And... I fell here and I couldn't get up._

_\- Ok... Can you get up now? I'll help you._

_\- Ok._

Jerry put one of Layne's arms on his shoulder, helped the boy got up and they started to walk, slowly.

- _Did you drank a lot?_

_\- Stop doing that..._

_\- Is just that now I know I can't lit a cigarette in front of you... Or we'll burn._ \- he smiled - _Careful, the hydrant... Yeah, slowly... You're still drunk?_

 _\- I think I'm a bit drunk yet, yeah… I just wanted to skip this date from the calendar. It's better got drunk as fuck and forget this fucking day. - s_ aid with a bitter tone.

_\- We're not that far, do you want to stop to rest a little?_

_\- Yeah..._

They both stopped walk and stood there on the sidewalk, in silence. The rain now was a drizzle. Jerry looked at Layne and noticed a bruise on his face, it wasn't bleeding, but he got worried. He wipped Layne's tears and hugged him.

_\- I know you wanted to skip this day, me too, but there's nothing we can do and... W-we need to deal with it._

Layne couldn't speak, he layed his face on Jerry's shoulder and cried silent. He kept there for some minutes and then Layne looked at Jerry, his angel; Always saving him, always helping him. Jerry were with him even when it seemed to be impossible.

_\- Thanks... What would I be without you? - he smiled._

_\- Oh, you would be Layne anyway._

_\- If i was still alive, huh?_

_\- Shut up, drama queen, stop saying that shit..._ \- he laughed - _Come on, let's go home._

Jerry had this gift, he could read people's mind. Sometimes it wasn't a gift at all, sometimes he just thought it was a curse and he didn't always want to read people's mind, but it was inevitable and, in that moment, he knew what Layne was thinking, he dropped the subject and took Layne back home, the drunk boy opened his apartment door.

_\- I miss you here..._ \- He said.

_\- I know... I miss living here too, but we both know that was necessary._

_\- I don't want to be alone, Cantrell..._

_\- I'll stay with you a little bit... Come on..._ \- He took Layne to his room – _You should rest, right?_

Layne lay down on his bed.

_\- How's Chris?_

_\- I... I don't know..._ \- Jerry said rubbing his eyes with his palms _\- I haven't been able to read his mind for days and he don't tell me._

_\- What?! You can't read his mind anymore?_

_\- No... I don't know why. Every time I try all I can see is a fucking wall, it frustrates me so much..._

_\- He went to the cemetery today?_

_\- Yeah, as always..._

_\- I'm... I'm sorry, I'm tired._

_\- Sleep a bit then..._ \- Jerry said, but Layne was already sleeping, he smiled, ran his hand through the boy's curly hair, got up and went off.


	6. Chapter 6

Jerry opened the door and felt a good smell of coffee, he heard voices, not only Chris' voice, but of someone else. He went to the living room and saw Chris talking with Eddie and it was a good conversation, he didn't want to interrupt. He hadn't heard Chris' laugh in ages. He didn't understand, but he stood there, admiring, he missed Chris' Laugh.

_\- No, I mean... I'm not a fisherman, I'm just a surfer. I'm good at surfing, not at fishing. My brother is a good fisherman, he learned from my stepfather._

_\- I'm not a surfer and I'm not a fisherman either... But I can cook._

They both laughed and heard a noise on the corridor. Chris got up.

_\- Cantrell?_

_\- Oh, hi... Sorry, I didn't want to disturb._

_\- Come here..._

The blond boy went to them.

\- _Eds!_ \- he smiled and hugged the boy - _Is it long since you arrived?_

_\- This afternoon. Chris bring me here, 'cause it was raining and cold._

_\- Oh, he did this?_ \- Jerry raised his eyebrows and looked at Chris, impressed.

 _\- Yeah..._ \- The boy smiled.

_\- I imagined that you had changed, but god..._

_\- There’s no hairdressers at the deep blue sea, Cantrell._ \- Chris said, smiling at him - _Do you want coffee?_

 _\- S-sure... Thanks._ \- he answered, confused.

Chris went to the kitchen and Jerry sat, looking at him, confused. Then he opened his mouth and looked to his friend, on the couch. Eddie's mind was an open book, no walls and he knew, exactly, what he was thinking. He smiled at Eddie, Eddie, however, frowned and shook his head.

_\- Do you still can read my mind, don't you? - he made a face._

_\- Uhum..._

_\- Shit!_ \- He whispered - _But it's not a big deal... He's kind... That's all._

_\- Uhum..._

_\- Cantrell..._

_\- Ok, I'm sorry..._ \- he smiled at the boy.

Chris came back and gave Jerry a mug, the blond boy took the mug and turned to look at Eddie.

\- _Eds, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to introduce you to Layne today, he doesn't even remember his own name._ \- he laughed - _Tomorrow I'll take you there._

_\- It's alright, I can sleep on your sofa, if you don't mind._

_\- No, I'll lend you my bed and I sleep in the sofa, you're tired, I'm not._ \- Chris said and Jerry looked at him more confused than before.

_\- You don't need to do this... You've done a lot for me today._

_\- I'll ignore what you said..._ \- he answered and gave Eddie a smile.

 _\- Oh, well... Alright..._ \- the boy laughed.

Jerry wanted not to seemed so surprised, because Eddie didn't knew anything, but, aparently he failed. The fact was, Chris hadn't acted that way in a long time and Jerry couldn't hide that he was shocked with Chris’ abrupt change. On that morning the boy was like always and in that moment…

_\- Cantrell?_ \- He called him, no answer.

 _\- What happened to him?_ \- Eddie asked.

_\- I don't know... Cantrell?_

The blond boy was focused on try to read Chris' mind, but he couldn't. He tried again, but all he could saw was the same wall from before. Not that he didn't like seeing Chris happy, but he was so confused.

_\- Junior!_ \- Eddie called him.

_\- Sorry..._

_\- Are you alright?_ \- Chris asked him.

_\- Y-yeah... Can I talk with you, Chris?_

_\- Why not? We'll be back, ok?_ \- He said to Eddie that nodded.

Jerry got up, still confused, opened the apartment door and they went to the porch. Chris closed the door behind him.

_\- What the fuck was that?_ \- Jerry asked whispering.

 _\- What do you mean?_ \- Chris answered also whispering.

- _I mean exactly what I said... What the fuck was that?_

_\- I didn't understand yet, sorry._

_\- "We'll be back, ok?", "I'll lend you my bed..."?_

\- _And what is the fucking big deal with it? I'm being kind with your friend that took a fucking long trip to get here._

_\- O-ok... Sorry. It's just I wasn't used to hear your laugh or see you smiling... I don't judge you and I'm not sad for this and I don't want to see you sad as well, I just want to understand what you're feeling cause I can't read your mind anymore…_

_\- What?! You can't? Why?_

_\- I don't know..._

_\- Don't worry 'bout me... Really, I haven't felt this good in a while, your friend is so nice. This is very different for me, you know... I don't know, I just... I just feel good next to him. He got this good energy... It's contagious._

_\- Uhum…_ \- He smiled.

Chris crossed his arms and frowned.

_\- You're not thinking that I..._ \- He said, but the blond boy interrupted him.

 _\- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!_ \- He made a face, frowning - _I'm not thinking in anything._

 _\- No? How many "no" you said, don't you think?_ \- Chris grinned.

_\- I'm not thinking in anything... As I said._

_\- Cantrell..._

_\- I don't know anything. I'm happy that you're happy, that's all. I just wanted to understand, thanks for explain it to me. - he said opening the door and entering the apartment._

_\- You're fucking welcome!_ \- Chris entered too and closed the door behind him, again.

The blond boy looked at Eddie on the couch, the boy had his eyes glued on the voicemail machine, his hands were shaking.

_\- Eddie?_ \- he asked.

- _Hmm?_

_\- You're ok?_

_\- Yeah, It's just..._ \- he coughed - _What's happening with your voicemail machine?_

Jerry knew what he was talking about and it happened something like that with him the night before.

_\- I don't know if there's a “problem” with it..._

_\- What's happening?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- He got a message on our home voicemail of someone he don't know who it is... He didn't pressed the button and... It, also, happened to me last night, I forgot to tell you 'cause I was late for work today... But the button was pressed, there was no one here, just me, you were already sleeping and I heard Eddie's message when he was on Salem._

Chris frowned.

_\- Play it again..._

Eddie pressed the button, but there was no message anymore. He frowned too.

_\- What the message said?_

_\- It was a thank-you message..._ \- Eddie said looking to Jerry, hoping for help.

- _A thank-you for being kind..._

This was what Jerry said, but he knew that was not only that. The message was clear in Eddie's mind, so it was clear on his mind too. The correct message was "You're kind, you have a good heart and thanks for making Chris smile again!”, but how he could explain something he couldn't understand? He tried to make it simple. Eddie, however, knew that strange things were happening there, the homeless man, then the voicemail box. He thought that maybe the person who had recorded the message for him was the homeless man himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Jerry left a blanket and a pillow in the couch for Chris while the boy was making his bed for Eddie. The boy looked at him, put a lock of his hair behind his ear and laughed.

_\- What?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- Nothing..._

_\- Really, what is it?_

_\- I was just thinking... Since I came here I only met taller people than myself, it's like on that TV Show... Land of the Giants._ \- he laughed.

 _\- Your ship entered in a magnetic space storm and fell in Seattle?_ \- He asked, also laughing.

_\- Yeah, I'm glad you got it!_

_\- Of course, a fucking classic!_

The smaller boy smiled.

_\- You're just to kind..._ \- He said - _Actually I was afraid to came here and... Dunno... Well, that maybe people wouldn't like me._

_\- Tell me the name of ONE idiot that doesn't like you? There's no way people doesn't like you._

_\- Oh, believe me... There's people who don't like me._

_\- I doubt it._ \- Chris went to his wardwrobe and raised his arm to take a blanket - _The benefit of being tall._

Eddie laughed.

_\- Throw it on my face, I'm fine with it._

Chris got closer the other and smiled.

- _Here..._ \- He put the blanket over his bed - _Feel free to take a shower and if you need something let me know, ok?_

_\- Ok, thank you. Again._

_\- You're always like that?_

_\- Like what?_

_\- Polite?_

_\- Y-yes..._ \- he said, blushing.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

He sat on the couch and lit a cigarette, then his gaze fell on the voicemail machine. He wanted to hear that message, wanted to know who had left that message to Eddie, but soon he thought why he was acting like that. He didn't want to admit, but Jerry was right, it was weird, but it wasn't like if he could stop feel what he was feeling. He looked at the clock: 3:20 am.

He tied his hair with a knot on the top of his head, got up and turned off the light, went back to the couch and all he could saw was the alarm clock light, the lamppost light of the street and the burning end of his cigarette. He took a drag and left the smoke out through his lips. He tried to remember and it was the first time he had truely smiled in two years. He smiled again, he tried to hold on to who he was, but failed, he forced his mind to do that, but all he could think was Eddie's smile.

He couldn't act like that, his protection was more important. But what if it wasn't? As might as he tried, he couldn't remember Stone crying, couldn't remember of Layne's bleeding hands, neither of Jerry staring at the nowhere or Jeff lost on his thoughts.

All that was replaced by Eddie's laugh.

It was 3:35 am and he heard footsteps on the corridor and looked to there. It was, completely, dark.

  
  


_\- Cantrell?_ \- he asked.

_\- N-no, Eddie, sorry._

_\- You can't sleep?_

_\- No..._

_\- Sit here with me. What happened? You're ok?_

_\- Yeah, I just..._ \- He rubbed his eyes with his palms and sat next to Chris - _I just need to get used with this city._ \- He smiled - _It's a fucking difference in the energy... I mean, not that the energy here is bad or heavy, but is weird. I don’t know…_

_\- Layne will like you._

_\- I hope so..._

_\- He will... He got this theory that the Space needle was built like that 'cause the people on the project saw a lot of UFOs around there._

_\- Really?_

_\- It's his theory... Just a theory, he was high..._

_\- I do believe in aliens..._ \- He yawned - _I'll like Layne too._

_\- Yes, he's nice. Can I ask you something?_

_\- Sure._

_\- If you liked San Diego so much why move here?_

  
  


Eddie rubbed his eyes again, then faced the dark living room and sighed.

  
  


_\- Do you remember when I said that there's people who don't like me?_ \- he asked and Chris said a whispering yes - _That's why I moved here. Not that I care that much, but it was a shit, a lot of fights. I don't like fights._

_\- Ex-girlfriend?_

_\- Oh, no..._

_\- Ex-boyfriend then?_

_\- Also no..._ \- He laughed - _Family._

_\- Complicated?_

_\- Yes._

_\- I see... If you don't want to talk about it, it's alright._

_\- Thanks, Chris…_

  
  


They remained in silence, but then, minutes after, they both heard a noise on the radio and turned their heads to it, at the same time. It was like if someone was trying to tune it. They were on the couch and the radio was next to the window, on the other side of the living room. It took them sometime to hear a clear sound.

  
  


_\- What?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- What the heck..._

_\- W-what?_

  
  


_"Only love can make it rain the way the beach is kissed by the sea"_

They looked at eachother. The only, decent, light there, was of the lamppost of the street that was entering through the kitchen window.

_\- I didn't understand what the fuck was that, but I like this song._ \- The taller boy said, smiling.

_"Only love can make it rain like the sweat of lovers laying in the fields"_

_\- I love this song…_ \- Eddie replied.

They remained there, looking to eachother, trying to figure out what had happened.

_"Only love can bring the rain that makes you yearn to the sky"_

Chris was confused, but he interpreted it as a slap in his face. He looked to Eddie and noticed that the boy was a little blushed. He understood why he was so polite, he was polite 'cause he was shy.

_"Only love can bring the rain that falls like tears from on high"_

_\- I don't know 'bout you, but I'm a little bit scared..._ \- The smaller boy said.

_\- I don't know if I'm scared with this... I think I can be more scared with other things..._

He could got scared with the fact that there's a lot of people in the world and knowing that, at least one of them, could change a lot of things in just a one single day. He could got scared just thinking about losing someone else. He could got scared with forgotten feelings and forgotten gestures in his own mind.

_\- With what?_

_\- Dunno, but I don't think that someone wanting to do harm would put The Who to play…_ \- He smiled at the other.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, let's made the poor Stone suffer and freak out a little bit :)
> 
> WARNING: Maybe, just maybe this chapter is the first one that have triggers and these triggers can appear in other chapters as well. 
> 
> The warnings are mostly for insomnia and anxiety disorders. This is personal for me and if you are going through something like this, just ask for help and be careful. You are important! <3

He hated to stay there late at night, on his own. He never liked. The only customers who went there that time were Kurt to buy Dramamine and Jeff to buy anything, so they could talk.

On that night he was on his own.

He looked through the glass door. The street was dark and empty. It was a sad view. A car passed once in a while, full of people going to party, but most of the time it was just boring, sad and a shit. He lay his head down on the glass counter and closed his eyes. He heard the sound of the automatic door opening and he could heard and feel the wind entering, he didn't heard any footsteps and frowned. He looked at it, the door was closing, but there was no one there with him.

_\- I think I need more coffee..._ \- He said to himself - _You're just sleepy, Stone... Just... Sleepy, a little sleepy._

He lay his head on the counter and closed his eyes again. When he was with his eyes closed, he heard the sound of the computer turning on. He quickly opened his eyes and looked next to him, to the computer. There was no one there, again. He frowned and went to the computer just to check if it wasn't a sistemic problem, he bent down and checked the CPU, nothing wrong with it. He put the locks of hair that was falling on his face behind his ear, stood up and looked to the monitor, but then his eyes widened and he took a step back. His hands were shaking, his heart beating fast. There was a message on the monitor screen.

_"I think you need someone to help you here and someone to keep you company, Gossard."_

_\- What... What the fuck?_ \- he asked himself with his jaw on the ground.

But nothing more happened, no more messages, no answers. He tried to type something and the computer restarted. He got paranoid and started to look at everywhere, there was no one and there was nothing, but the door hadn't opened yet, so whatever or whoever had entered on the drugstore it was still there with him. He remembered of the camera system and quickly opened the monitoring program. He opened the video of a half an hour ago. On the video the door just opened and also there was no one. While he was watching it he heard a sound of a box falling on the ground. He frowned and went to the corridor where the box had fell. He took it. Valium 10mg. The door opened again and then closed and he got confused, looking at the box in his hand.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Chris and Eddie had slept in the couch. One of them in one side and the other in the other side. Someone knocked on the door and, as no one opened, the person insisted. Chris opened his eyes and saw Eddie sleeping there as well. He smiled. More knocks on the door and, this time, were punches. He looked to the clock, it was 8:00 am. He got up carefully not to wake the other, went to the door and opened. Stone was there, he could barely hold the cigarette he was smoking, his hand was shaking.

_\- Hi..._ \- He said - _Can I come in?_

_\- Sure you can. What happened?_

  
  


They went into the apartment and Chris closed the door.

  
  


_\- I- I need to talk to Jerry. He's here?_

_\- Oh, yeah... I'll bring him here._ \- He said, worried.

  
  


Stone looked at the couch and there was that guy sleeping there. He didn't knew him and looked around trying to figure out what was happening there, but after what happened on the drugstore he had already given up.

_\- He's coming..._ \- Chris said - _What's happening?_

 _\- I... I... Who's this?_ \- he said, making a move with his head to the couch.

_\- It's Eddie, Jerry's friend. He moved from San Diego to here._

_\- Oh, ok..._

  
  


Stone looked once more to the boy and remembered from the message on the drugstore computer. That was too weird, he didn't believe in coincidences and this just turned everything more bizarre.

_\- Hey... You're alright?_

_\- N-no... I'm... I don't know. I think I was... I mean I'm still scared and came to talk with you about it, but somehow, I... I think I understood what's happening._

_\- What the fuck are you talking about, Gossard?_

  
  


Jerry's voice made Eddie woke up. He saw that boy talking with Jerry. He sat on the couch and yawned.

  
  


_\- G-good morning..._ \- he said, confused.

 _\- Sorry, Eds..._ \- Jerry said.

_\- Nah, it's alright. You guys wake me just in time..._

_\- Just in time to go out and look for a job?_ \- Stone asked.

 _\- Yeah..._ \- Eddie replied, still confused.

_\- Okay! Cantrell. I was there on the drugstore, on the fucking night shift. The avenue was completely desert, as always and the fucking door opened, no one came in. I thought I was just tired or, I don't know, it was a fucking problem on the presence sensor, but then someone or something came in or... I don't know what happened, the computer turned on and there was a message for me on it EVEN IF THERE WAS NO ONE THERE WITH ME._

_\- What the fuck?!_ \- Chris asked him.

 _\- Exactly like I said. The little message was “"I think you need someone to help you here and someone to keep you company, Gossard.", then I ask you… Who wrote that? Someone got in there without me seeing? And it gets worse... I was there shitting my pants off because of that message and a box fell on the ground, like if someone had just pushed it with a finger. I went to check what box it was and it was a Valium 10mg box that... Shouldn't be on that corridor. It's a Controlled Substance, it can't stay on the ordinary shelves._ \- He stopped to breath and then the boy on the couch asked.

_\- Valium 10mg?_

_\- Yeah, why?_ \- he asked back and sat next to Eddie.

- _I take it for insomnia_.

_\- Shit! Well... I don't know if I'm getting crazy, but you don't need to go out to look for a job anymore, you already have one. Do you know how to use a cash register and a computer?_

\- _Yeah, did you said that you work on a drugstore, right?_

_\- Yes, why?_

_\- I worked in a drugstore in San Diego. I think I have some experience with it._ \- he said and then Chris smiled.

  
  


Stone didn't knew what was happening, but he was sure it was happening something. he had become too paranoid in recent years. Each person has a different way of dealing with grief and that was his escape route. He didn't knew very well how the fate worked, but he knew that things had to happen that way: Jerry's friend moving to Seattle, what happened on the drugstore and Chris' mood swings?

  
  


_\- Chris?_ \- he asked.

_\- Yeah?_

_\- Are you alright?_

_\- I'm great._ \- the talller boy said, smiling at him - _Why?_

_\- I don't know..._

  
  


Stone got up and went to Chris, putting his hand on the boy's forehead. Chris gave him a slap on his hand.

  
  


- _What the fuck you're doing?_

_\- Just checking if you don't have a fever._

_\- Oh, fuck... You too? What's the matter with my good mood?_

_\- Sorry! I haven't seen you like this in a while..._ \- he smiled - _I'm happy that you're happy. I'm sorry... I just... Fuck it! You know what I mean_.

  
  


Eddie looked at Stone and frowned.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Layne woke up. He didn't remember much that had happened the day before, just that Jerry took him back home. He got up and looked at the mirror, he had already had better days. He tried to fix some curls of his hair and failed, he thought that maybe wash his hair was a better option.

He went to take a shower and with the water, wetting his body he heard the noise of the bathroom door opening. Only Jerry had a key.

  
  


_\- Jerry?_

  
  


He got no answer, maybe the boy hadn't heard him. He called again. Nothing. He washed his hair and when he looked at the blurried glass of the shower stall, there was something wrote there. He frowned and read it.

  
  


_"Great day to make new friends, Staley! :)"_

  
  


He felt his heart beat faster and opened the door in a reflex. There was no one there.

  
  


_\- Cantrell? Is that you?!_

  
  


No answer again. He got scared, so he finished his shower as soon as he could and went to dress. He dressed a denim overall, a black t-shirt and a pair of All Star. He checked if there was really no one there with him and then he went out.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Stone drank a cup of coffee and gave Eddie the drugstore address and said goodbye. He opened the door and saw Layne there, trying to seemed normal, trying not to seem too scared.

  
  


_\- Oh! H-hi, Gossard... How are you?_ \- he smiled.

 _\- I'm fine, how 'bout you? -_ the boy smiled back.

_\- Yeah, I guess I'm fine now. Are you already leaving?_

_\- Uhum... But see you tomorrow._

_\- Oh, that's good! I'll wait..._

  
  


Stone went off and Layne went in the apartment, right towards Jerry.

  
  


_\- Do you... Do you went to my apartment today?_

_\- No, but I was talking with Stone and I came to the conclusion that everything that is happening is kind of an Scooby-Doo episode..._ \- he smiled and nodded.

 _\- I can't believe you said that shit!_ \- Chris laughed and saw Layne was more confused than when he came in. _\- Oh, don't... Don't look at me like that, Staley! I'm fine. I don't have a fever._

 _\- Oh, yeah? And what's the fucking proof of it?_ \- he raised an eyebrown.

 _\- I don't need to fucking proof anything._ \- Chris replied with a grin.

  
  


Eddie was still trying to understand why Jerry, Stone and, now, Layne were acting like that. He looked at Jerry waiting to be introduced.

  
  


_\- Layne, this is my friend Eddie._

  
  


So Layne raised his hand to the boy and they shook hands.

  
  


_\- Nice to meet you, Eddie... I'm sorry for yesterday. I drank a little more than I was expecting._ \- He laughed.

_\- It's alright, it happens, I understand you very well._

_\- Well, since we are going to live together we better get to know each other, right? We can drink a cup of coffee if you're not busy now._

_\- No sugar for you!_ \- Jerry said, laughing.

_\- Oh, fuck you! Anyway... Like I was saying before this little dork interupted me... I can show the apartment right now, if you want. I'll show where do I put the things, your room..._

_\- Sure!_

  
  


Chris went to his room and took Eddie's backpack. They went off and went down the stairs, crossed the courtyard and went into Layne's apartment. Layne pulled Jerry by his arm.

  
  


- _I think someone came in here..._ \- he bite his lower lip.

_\- What?!_

_\- I don't know, but, aparently, that's what happened and... Well, it seems like someone wrote a message for me on the bathroom._

  
  


Jerry had already heard that and he had read Eddie's mind, he didn't understand, no one did, but maybe his friend had a greater purpose there, even if he didn't knew, cause, somehow, Chris and Stone were acting different. Stone hadn't been to his apartment in a while, he gave himself to the pills and to the conspiracy theories. Chris was now smiling and laughing and talking. He read Layne's mind and knew what was the message.

  
  


_\- No, no one came in here. Someone wrote a message to Eddie on the cafe he went when he got off the bus, also someone left a message to him on my home voicemail, someone left a message to Stone on the drugstore computer as well and something happened to me too, I had this dream with my voicemail... My home voicemail... There's something happening with it. It plays the messages without anyone press the button. You are not the only one, Staley._

  
  


Layne's face was saying a lot of what he was thinking. They heard laughs from the kitchen.

  
  


_\- What's happening with Chris?_ \- He asked.

 _\- Oh, he became happy "out of nowhere"._ \- Jerry raised his eyebrows.

 _\- He's, CLEARLY, in love, I mean... Look at this little shit!_ \- Layne said, crossing his arms and looking the two boys on the kitchen, talking.

_\- I know... Not that he want to assume. I already asked him and all he could say to me was, basically "Your friend is fucking good vibes, I like that, it's contagious" or any shit like that. Can you believe that?_

_\- No._ \- Layne laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

Stone were there on the drugstore parking lot, waiting for Eddie and he missed the old him: A friendly, smart and funny person and thought about how relationships change people or, on his case, the lack of it. He had distanced himself from his friends, he had his reasons, not that if was the best option. He filled his mug with more coffee and sat on the ground with his back on the wall. He missed many things on that moment. He put the mug on the ground, next to him and lit a cigarette, then took a drag and looked at the sky and asked himself if when people die they really turn stars like people says. He sighed and turned his attention to Eddie that was walking towards him. He got up.

  
  


_\- WELCOME TO THE FUCKING NIGHT SHIFT!_

_\- Oh, I can tell you how much are you excited!_ \- Eddie smiled.

- _It's good to have someone here with me, believe me. We got a lot of nice things to do like, for example, to play cards and... Domino... Er... Yeah, I know it don't seem so much fun._ \- He laughed and looked down to his feet.

_\- It's sounds amazing for me, but maybe you can show me how things works here, huh?_

  
  


Stone filled another mug with coffee and gave it to Eddie.

  
  


_\- Oh, yeah... Come with me!_

  
  


The smaller boy took a sip on the coffee and then followed the other. When they were already inside the drugstore Eddie looked at the presence system.

  
  


_\- You said someone came in here..._

_\- Yeah, someone came in, but I was alone in here, just me and my dirty and guilty conscience._ \- He laughed and went to the computer - _Do you know how to use a monitoring system program?_

 _\- Yeah, can I?_ \- Eddie asked him, pointing his finger at the computer.

_\- Sure..._

  
  


Eddie sat in front the computer and opened the monitoring program.

  
  


_\- What was the time?_

_\- Between 2:50 am and 3:30 am._

  
  


So Eddie opened the videos and saw exactly what Stone had said. He raised an eyebrow and made a timeline on his head, with this he came to the conclusion that what had happened with Chris and him the night before happened before than with what had happened with Stone. He got up and took the chair to the door, he climbed on it and then hung himself on the metal frame above the door.

  
  


_\- What the fuck you are doing?_

_\- Checking if... Checking if there's no problem with it._

  
  


But there wasn't any problem, no cable out of place. He jumped to the ground. Stone was still looking at him, with his both eyebrows raised. Eddie cleaned his hands on each other and went to Stone, holding the chair. He told Stone everything had happened to him since he came there, they talked about all that weird stuff were happening and about Layne's theories, but at a certain moment Stone wasn't mentally present on that conversation anymore.

  
  


_\- Stone?_

_\- What? Sorry... I was thinking..._

_\- In what?_

_\- Do you believe that dead people can comunicate with the living people somehow? Like we see on the horror movies?_

_\- I don't know, never thought about it..._

  
  


The door opened and they got scared.

  
  


_\- Oh, I know I'm fucking ugly, but..._ \- Chris said.

 _\- You're not ugly._ \- Eddie said - _Don't be rude to yourself_

 _\- Well... Thank you, mister._ \- He said smiling and saw that Stone was opening a drawer and took a thermometer - _I don't need this shit, Gossard, put it back._

 _\- Fuck!_ \- Stone said.

- _I only came to wish you luck..._ \- Chris said to Eddie.

 _\- Thank you... Mister._ \- The smaller boy said smiling.

  
  


Chris supported his elbows on the glass counter, next to the computer, the other two were behind the counter. Eddie went silent and his smile was gone, he looked to Chris' back and opened his mouth. There was a light in a human form.

  
  


_\- Eddie?_ \- Chris called him.

  
  


The boy didn't replied and kept looking, amused and then at some point one of Chris’ locks of hair were upright and he felt a shiver down his spine. Then his hair strands fell in his face, like a whip.

  
  


_\- WHAT THE FUCK?_ \- Stone asked.

  
  


They couldn't react to that and Eddie kept looking to that light until it gones.

  
  


_\- Fuck..._ \- He said - _I... I think I need to get drunk._

 _\- Me too._ \- Chris said.

 _\- And I think we need something more stronger than coffee._ \- Stone said, putting his forehead on the counter.


	11. Chapter 11

If they needed to get drunk, they needed a party. Stone was still missing who he used to be and then he decided to throw a party. His mother were on a medical congress and his father were in Idaho working, so he would stay alone til wednesday. It was saturday and he invited a lot of people. People started arriving at 20:00 pm and, at 20:30, his house was full. Someone knocked on the door and and he only managed to hear because he was passing in front of it. He opened the door and Jerry came in, Layne, Eddie and Chris came in next.

  
  


_\- Hey! WELCOME TO MY DAMN PARTY! Feel free to get some drink and there's pizza on the kitchen. Jeff will be here soon, he went to talk with his... Supplier._ \- He winked.

- _Hell yeah!_ \- Chris said and laughed.

_\- Yeah, I'll be back._

  
  


Eddie crossed his arms. He didn't know anyone there, just his friends. He took a good look on Stone's house and got impressed with how much money the medicine and the drugstore could make. Jerry looked at him and poked Chris' arm, made a hand gesture to him with his index and middle finger under his lips.

  
  


_\- Hey..._ \- Chris said to Eddie - _Do you want see something nice?_

 _\- Oh, yeah._ \- the smaller boy smiled.

  
  


Chris took Eddie by his hand, they crossed the living room and went up stairs. Soon they were on a room.

  
  


_\- Ok... What is so nice?_

_\- Go to the window..._

_\- Right..._ \- He frowned and went to the window - _HOLY SHIT!_ \- It was an incredible vision of the Space Needle from Stone's room.

- _Yeah, fucking beautiful, huh?_ \- Chris went towards him and looked at his bright blue eyes, then smiled.

_\- Yes! I love it!_

_\- Do you wanna a cigarette?_

  
  


Eddie smiled to him and nodded.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
Jerry wasn't worried with Stone, actually he was glad to see him happy again and maybe he had overcome grief and was moving on. Was a big step for Stone and Jerry was happy for that. His friend came back and gave Layne and him two beers.

  
  


_\- Chris is so in love that already took Eddie somewhere else?_

_\- Basically._ \- He replied.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


At 2:00 am Stone's house were full of people, the music were loud and Eddie wasn't feeling good with all those people there.

  
  


_\- I NEED TO GET OUTSIDE SO I COULD BREATH!_ \- he shouted to Chris.

_\- WHAT?_

  
  


He stood on tiptoe and brought his lips closer to Chris' ear, so the boy could heard him. Chris felt a shiver on the back of his neck, then nodded and they went outside. It was cold and Eddie rubbed his hands on each other.

  
  


_\- Are you ok?_ \- The taller boy asked.

 _\- Yes..._ \- He smiled - _I wasn't feeling confortable with all those people._

_\- You're better here?_

_\- Yeah, but Jeff's joint is fucking good._ \- he said and laughed, Chris laughed too and looked down.

  
  


They heard voices and looked back. Layne and Jerry went outside, apparently, to talk.

  
  


_\- They like each other, right?_

_\- Oh, yes. But Jerry... You know he's afraid. Afraid of fuck their friendship, afraid of losing Layne. Well, I don't judge him, I feel the same._

_\- Are you afraid to be happy?_ \- Eddie looked to Chris and noticed that the boy couldn't looked him back.

_\- Something like that, yeah. Isn't nice to have good things in your life and then just lose it all._

  
  


The smaller boy smiled.

  
  


_\- Sorry, Chris, but I disagree._

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Jerry could read Layne's mind all the time, he knew everything the boy was thinking and all he wanted to do, but even if Jerry was high or drunk, he was still afraid and he didn't want that changed his behavior any how. The other looked at him all the time and passed one of his hands on Jerry's face.

  
  


_\- Listen to me... I understand you, ok? I fucking understand you, but how long will you be afraid?_

_\- You know it's not that simple, right?_ \- He closed his eyes.

_\- No, I don't... Explain it._

  
  


It was like Jerry had swallowed a rock, he didn't like to talk about that. Layne's mind was an open field and a love letter to him and Jerry liked him too much to let him go if something went wrong.

  
  


_\- If something went wrong, what can we do? It will happen anyway. We've got the power over our actions and that's all. We don't got the power over... Well, you know._

_\- Yeah, you're right, but even knowing this I still can't._

_\- Alright, I'll not force you to do anything..._ \- He looked at the sky.

_\- You know what I think about that._

_\- Yeah, I know what you think about that, but I, really, don't understand how's to like someone and don't do any fucking thing about it. I just think you have to be brave... I was brave, why you can't?_

  
  


Layne knew how to manipulate a situation unintentionally and Jerry went silent, thinking and digesting what Layne had said. He doesn't know from where he took courage, but he had took it from somewhere and that was what mattered. He ran his fingers through Layne's face and looked at him in the eye. His look broke Layne, because his legs went weak.

  
  


_\- Do you want me to be brave, right?_

_\- Y-yes..._

_\- Ok, I'll be. But you have to promise me that if something went wrong we'll going to sit and talk about it and solve our problem._

_\- I promise you._ \- Layne smiled.

_\- Ok..._

  
  


He ran his hands through the other's neck, smiled and touched Layne's lips with his, kissing him gently. He felt Layne's hands hugging his waist and felt safe.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Eddie pulled Chris by his arm and pointed to the other two, kissing, outside Stone's house.

  
  


_\- I'm screaming like a fucking teenage girl inside, but I don't want to disturb._ \- He said.

 _\- I can't deny... Me too._ \- Chris said, laughing - _I'm happy for them, this movie is so long and I slept a lot times trying to watch that I almost gave up._

  
  


Eddie froze and got suddenly serious.

  
  


_\- But... Wait! If they're kissing... And... And... And if they go to my apartment and... And if they go there to fuck? I-I..._ \- He frowned and looked at the ground - _I'll have to listen to it? Or worse! What if I see?_ \- He looked to Chris - _I like to fuck, not to watch. I don't watch, I fuck. I-I don't want this to happen,_ \- he made a face - _I've been living there for only a couple of days... Oh shit!_

  
  


Chris smiled and then laughed.

  
  


_\- What?_ \- Eddie asked scared.

 _\- You don't watch, you fuck?_ \- Chris raised an eyebrow.

 _\- Y-yeah..._ \- He blushed - _Do you rather watch than fuck?_

 _\- No, I rather fuck as well..._ \- he was still laughing.

_\- Hell yeah you rather do it! Oh, god..._

_\- Relax, I got a plan._ \- he looked at the smaller boy - _We'll go to my place and let's bet. If they go to your place you owe me a bottle of vodka and if they go to my place I owe you the same thing. Do we have a deal?_

  
  


Eddie laughed, still blushed.

  
  


_\- Fine, we have a deal. And... Thanks, Chris, for saving my life, my vision and my hearing._ \- He kissed Chris' cheek.

  
  


The taller boy felt his face burn like hell, probably he was also blushing.

  
  


_\- Do you want to go now?_

_\- We shouldn't say bye to Stone at least?_

_\- He must be very high with Jeff now. He won't even notice that we left._

_\- Ok... Let's go then._

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this chapter is too long. Sorry about it. :c

Layne smiled, he waited so long for this to happen, since they lived together. He missed Jerry there with him, but understood it was better if he stayed with Chris. It was more safe.

  
  


_\- Imagine this... Chris and Eddie get together, then you could live with me again..._ \- He smiled.

_\- I don't think it's gonna happen so soon, you know... We're talking about Chris._

_\- Yeah..._ \- Layne sighed - _I thought they were around here just now... Do you think they went home?_

_\- I don't know, I didn't pay much attention, actually I was fucking busy, you know?_

_\- Yes, I know that... I think we could go to my place, I don't think Eddie would care, do you?_

_\- It's sounds good for me... Because..._

_\- Because..._

_\- Well..._ \- He bite Layne's earlobe - _Because you really turns me on…_

_\- So it's a fucking brilliant idea, I'm brilliant!_

_\- It's exactly what you are._

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Eddie supported his elbows on the porch's wooden fence and looked to the little fountain iluminating the courtyard. It was a beautiful night, despite the cold. The sky was clean. The ashes of his cigarette fell on the courtyard and he sighed. Chris' apartment door opened and he went out, holding two mugs and gave one to Eddie.

  
  


_\- Thanks..._ \- He said, taking the mug.

 _\- You're welcome..._ \- and the taller boy leaned his back against the wooden fence, taking a sip of his coffee, looking at Eddie.

 _\- I... I want to ask you something._ \- Eddie said.

_\- What?_

_\- On my first night living with Layne, we were talking and he told me Jerry lived with him... What happened? They fought?_

_\- N-no..._ \- Chris thought a little before say anything - _They lived together, but I... I was going through some crises, personal crises I mean. I had these crises everyday, at least 3 times in a day. I didn't ask to Jerry to live with me, they talked and decided it was better one of them be with me, be my nanny..._ \- He smiled, shyly, looking down.

_\- Depressive... Crises, you mean?_

_\- Well, no… Angry and anxiety attacks._

_\- But you're better now?_

_\- I haven't felt bad for a few days, you have a very good energy... Thank you for this._

_\- You're welcome..._ \- He smiled and took another sip of the coffee.

 _\- Oh, Eddie!_ \- He pointed at the courtyard - _Let's see._

  
  


Jerry and Layne went to Layne's place.

  
  


_\- Yeah! Who's the fucking betting master?!_

_\- I don't know why are you so happy, Chris... You'll gonna share the vodka with me anyway..._

_\- How do you know?_ \- the taller boy laughed.

 _\- Because you will..._ \- Eddie looked at him and smiled.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Eddie couldn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling and thought in call to his mother, but he didn't know if that was the right thing to do. Was she looking for him? Was she as desperate as a mother who loses sight of her children? He didn't want to be alone. He sat on Jerry's bed and faced the darkness. He got up and went to Chris' room. The boy was sleeping, shirtless, his hair covering his pillow. He moistened his lips, looking to Chris. He was very handsome and Eddie smiled. He didn't want to wake him up, so he left and when he had closed the door by half, Chris woke up.

  
  


_\- Hey..._

_\- H-hi..._ \- Eddie said, blushing - _Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up._

_\- Are you alright?_

_\- Yeah... I... I can't sleep and I don't... I don't wanted to be alone, then I came here to see if you were awake, but as you weren't, I was already going back to Jerry's room._

_\- Come here..._

  
  


He looked again to Chris, to his belly and then to his chest. How he would resist to that was a mystery to him, but he got closer to the boy's bed.

  
  


_\- What happened?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- Nothing... I was just thinking about my mom and when I think too much I can't sleep._

_\- Lay here with me..._ \- the taller boy said, lifting the blanket, Eddie smiled and lay down next to him, they were now face to face - _What happened? Why didn't you tell her about move to here?_

_\- I... I just thought that she doesn't care, actually she really doesn't care at all._

_\- Ok... Being honest, I think she cares, yes._

  
  


Eddie shook his head, slowly.

  
  


_\- You don't know her._ \- he smiled.

 _\- But who wouldn't care about you? I mean, it's you..._ \- Chris smiled.

 _\- Oi! I can take care of myself very well, thank you, mister._ \- said, laughing - _As long as I can sleep. Insomnia is a shit, believe me, I always try every fucking thing._

  
  


Chris ran one of his hands through Eddie's hair, gently, non-stop. The smaller boy blushed even more and closed his eyes.

  
  


  
  


- _If I do this..._ \- Chris said, whispering - _Do you think it will work?_

_\- It was the only thing I din't try yet, It's not like if I didn't want._

_\- What do you mean?_ \- he was still cuddling Eddie's hair.

  
  


The smaller boy opened his eyes.

  
  


_\- Isn't obvious? You can't just force someone to do something like this on you._

_\- No one never caressed your hair before?_

_\- Never._ \- He laughed - _But it's fucking good, thanks._ \- and closed his eyes again.

 _\- No problem..._ \- Chris smiled and ran his hand from Eddie's hair to his face, passing his fingers through Eddie's cheek - _You need to rest a little bit._

_\- Yes…_

  
  


Chris was looking to Eddie that was already sleeping, admiring his features. He passed his finger through his cheekbones, cheeks, nose and through his pink lips as well. He wanted so badly to kiss it.

  
  


The light on his room was the same light on the kitchen and this light was all over Eddie's face, leaving Chris' face in the darkness. He remembered everytime Jerry refused to go on on his relationships or jobs just afraid to lose it. He remembered everytime Stone did the same, but now Jerry was on Layne's apartment and Stone was high with Jeff and... He was there, only admiring the boy sleeping next to him, like if that was the only thing he was allowed to and he asked himself why he coudn't go on too, be happy, completely and not just half-happy. He was lost on thoughts and Eddie ran his head through Chris' chest, like a cat asking for atention or cleaning the bad energies and he smiled, he hugged Eddie and could smell the boy's hair; a mix of strawberry and nicotine. He didn't know if it was because of the smell or because of the good energy, but he fell asleep too, however when he was already sleeping he had a nightmare, as real as it could be.

  
  


He was on the streets at night, it was cold, very cold and he was walking, passing through dirty alleys and he was crying, desperately. He screamed at the people that were with him to get hurry, because they didn't have time enough and he was calling for Eddie. He didn't know where the boy was and started to run, still screaming to the people, until he stopped and noticed a statue beside him. When, looking to his front, he saw the ocean and, in the horizon, on the right side, the Space needle. He screamed to the people to help him find Eddie and one of these people ran to the sand, he ran after and then other two people ran after him. The boy they were looking for was lying on the sand, talking random stuff and he couldn't understand. There's no one else there, just Eddie, the people that was with him and himself, but he felt someone getting closer from his back and this person, whoever it was, said with it's mouth close from his ears.

  
  


_“Why don't you think in a situation as a whole before do something or before distance yourself from someone, Christopher? I said that because I'm your friend, just a friend passing by. If you aren't able to fight your own feelings and fears, I'll already give you the map before the shit being thrown into the fan. Right here, on the other side of the town and I'll be looking for you when this happen, if it'll happen.”_

Then he heard someone calling him, just a voice and he felt a hand on his face. He opened his eyes, scared.

  
  


_\- Chris?!_ \- Eddie asked him.

 _\- I'm... I'm sorry..._ \- He hugged the smaller boy tight and he was missing him, without any explanation - _Sorry!_

  
  


Eddie hugged him back and frowned.

  
  


_\- What? Why? You had a nightmare, it was just a nightmare._ \- He rubbed Chris' back and noticed he was crying - _Chris? Hey..._ \- He tried to look at the taller boy, but failed, because the boy wouldn't let him go - _Hey... What happened?_ \- no answers - _Chris talk to me, I'm worried._

 _\- I-I..._ \- Chris looked at him - _I'm sorry... I... You had disappeared and... And... I was looking for you, there was some people with me, I... I don't know who was it... But you..._ \- And he started to hyperventilate.

- _It's alright... Breathe, just breathe, in and out. Slowly. You can do this._ \- Eddie dried his tears as the boy was trying to do what he told him to do - _Yes... Breathe. Are you feeling better now?_ \- The boy nodded - _Ok... It was just a nightmare, nothing more._

 _\- No, but it was real. It was like to see a picture. You were passed out on the sand. N-not passed out, I mean, you were just there talking nonsense stuff._ \- Chris looked to other direction - _It was like if you were hallucinating, I don't know... But someone talked to me, in my ear. I don't know who was it as well, but... I'm sorry._ \- He dried his cheeks with the back of his hand.

 _\- You did nothing to me, Chris... It's alright._ \- He smiled at the other.

 _\- But..._ \- Breathing was harder than before - _What if I ever do something to you?_

_\- What do you mean? Chris, listen, I'm sure you'll never do anything to me, but if you do... I'm sure you'll have a great fucking reason, I stay close when people want me close and... If one day you decide to walk away from me, I'll be sad, but I'll respect you. Don't worry with this for now... One thing at a time._

  
  


It was weird for Eddie to say that, but it was the best thing he could think. Chris hugged him again, scared.


	13. Chapter 13

Jerry went in his apartment and noticed it was very quiet. He put his keys on the kitchen counter.

  
  


_\- Chris?!_

  
  


The boy replied from the bathroom, but he couldn't understand any word.

  
  


_\- What?!_

_\- Sorry..._ \- The boy appeared on the corridor - _I was brushing my teeth..._ \- He laughed.

_\- What? What are you laughing at?_

_\- Oh, nothing!_

_\- I need to see this shit!_ \- Eddie said from Chris' room and after some minutes, he was also on the corridor, folding a blanket, he looked at Jerry - _Good Morning, Sleeping beauty. I think you are a little bit late._ \- He said and Chris choked on his own saliva, laughing.

 _\- I still don't get it why are you laughing._ \- Jerry said seriously.

 _\- Oh, it's nothing..._ \- The smaller boy pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh.

_\- What it's so fucking funny? There's a dick drawn on my fucking forehead?!_

  
  


Chris laughed even more only to think on that masterpiece.

  
  


_\- Was your night good?_ \- he asked.

_\- Wait! D-did you saw something? B-because if you did, I swear I can explain it._

_\- Oh, thank god for saving us from seeing this._ \- Eddie said.

 _\- I don't know why YOU_ \- and Jerry pointed to the smaller boy – _are laughing at me. What you was doing on Chris' room this early, Vedder?_

 _\- Well..._ \- Eddie laughed - _Is just that he saved my life yesterday._

  
  


Chris and Eddie was now on the living room, still laughing, then the corridor was empty, but they could heard a third person laughing as well. Chris turned to the corridor, the other two did the same. They had stopped to laugh, but this third laugh was still there, even if there was no one there. Someone was, clearly, having fun with Jerry's face.

  
  


_\- I'm getting crazy or..._ \- Jerry said.

 _\- No, I don't think so... I'm listening too._ \- Chris answered.

  
  


Eddie kept looking at the corridor, there was no light this time. It was more like a feeling, like if he was looking at a family portrait, but with no people on it. He could felt the energies floating on air from one room to the other and he went to Jerry's room and sat on his bed. Chris followed him and noticed that he was static.

  
  


Eddie looked at the whole room and heard a conversation, inside his head, but he knew this conversation had happened there, on that room.

  
  


_"Stone said what?"_

  
  


It was Chris' voice and he kept looking at everywhere in Jerry's room.

  
  


_"He said that I was too pretty and so that's why he let me won."_

  
  


Eddie had already heard that voice, but he couldn't remember at the moment and then he heard Chris' laugh.

  
  


_"He, practically, disqualified your fucking job as a Prince of Persia player!"_

  
  


Eddie remained there looking at everywhere and listening the conversation, nothing was making sense, then suddenly the conversation was gone and he heard a scream. It was like someone had one of the organs pulled out of the body. He had to cover his ears. It was so loud. He closed his eyes.

  
  


_"Chris? What happened?!"_

  
  


It was Layne's voice now, but no one answered.

  
  


Eddie was still with hands covering his ears and with his eyes closed. The other two was looking at him, scared and worried.

  
  


_\- Eds?_ \- Jerry tried to call him, nothing.

 _\- What happened?_ \- Chris asked.

  
  


Jerry crossed his arms.

  
  


_\- I don't know... He heard something._

_\- What did he heard?_

_\- Random conversations in this room._

  
  


Chris felt that somehow Eddie heard conversations that really happened on Jerry's room, but how was that possible? And if it were conversations between him and Jerry, Eddie wouldn't be in that catatonic state. He frowned and went the boy. He bent down and ran his hands through the boy's hands taking it out from his ears and holding it after doing that.

  
  


_\- Eddie?_

_\- Hm?_

_\- Are you ok?_

_\- Y-yeah... I heard a scream just now. It was so loud that I had to cover my ears._ \- He got up and went, quickly to the window - _Does anyone need help?_

  
  


Chris shook his head slowly and went to the boy.

  
  


_\- I don't think so... Come on, let's eat something._

_\- I'm not hungry, thanks._ \- He still looked lost.

 _\- It's alright... Come with me._ \- He took Eddie's hand.

  
  


Eddie didn't understand the reason, but everything Chris said or did had some sort of influence above him or power and vice versa. The taller boy took him to the living room and Jerry followed them.


	14. Chapter 14

It was always that boring and sad view. Stone tapped his fingertips on the glass counter, looking at the door and hoping that the door opened again, but didn't happen. He wanted a beer, then decided to wait for Eddie so that he could go buy it. The phone rang and he answered.

  
  


_\- Hello?_

  
  


Nobody said anything.

  
  


_\- Eddie?_

_"No, it's Jeff..."_

_\- Oh, hi..._ \- He frowned - _Jeff, it's kind difficult to hear you. It seems that there is some interference, dunno..._

_"I'm listening too... There someone else in there with you?"_

_\- No, just me. Why?_

_"I don't know, I thought I heard someone else."_

_\- W-what? Jeff! Jeff! I can't fucking hear you!_

_"Stone... Who's talking? There's someone else talking."_

_\- What do you mean?_

_"Shhh, listen to it!"_

  
  


They remained silent for a while and could heard a third person talk.

  
  


_\- Eddie?_

_"It's not his voice..."_

  
  


The drugstore door opened and Eddie went in. Once he was inside the drugstore he felt a shiver down his spine. He looked at Stone who was on the phone and the boy looked at him back. Stone frowned again and still looking at Eddie, he replied Jeff.

  
  


_\- It's not him on the phone, Jeff, he's here..._

_"Shit! Wait a second... Do you can hear me now?"_

_\- Oh, it's better now..._ \- he sighed.

_"Well, I don't know what the heck happened now, but... Well, I'm going to throw a party tomorrow night, I wish you would go…"_

Eddie went to the counter.

  
  


_\- Yeah! I will._ \- Stone smiled and looked at Eddie.

_"Eddie will come too, right?"_

_\- Jeff is asking if you'll go to his party..._ \- He said and the boy nodded - _He will._

_"Great! I'll wait for you, I already talked with the guys, so... See you tomorrow, Gossard!"_

_\- Yeah... See ya!_

_"Eddie is with you?"_

  
  


It wasn't Jeff's voice and it wasn't another interference because Jeff already had hung up the phone.

  
  


_\- Who's talking?!_

_"Eddie is with you?"_

_\- Who the fuck it is?!!_ \- and his voice sounded a little hysterical.

_"Oh, don't need to answer... I can see him!"_

  
  


Stone hung up the phone and ran to the parking lot. There was no one there, again. Eddie followed him.

  
  


_\- What's happening?_

  
  


Stone was still a little hysterical and lost.

  
  


_\- Jeff called, but the line was breaking up... There seemed to have a third person speaking and when Jeff hung up, someone asked me if you were with me and when I asked again who it was, this... Person said it already could see you and that I didn't need to answer. I don't know about you, Eddie, but I'm thinking that everything is very fucking strange lately._

_\- This is all very Scooby-Doo?_ \- The smaller boy asked, smiling.

 _\- Hell yeah! But I don't think there's an outlaw behind us dressed up in a monster costume._ \- he said and Eddie laughed - _Do you wanna a beer?_

_\- Yes..._

_\- I'm going to buy it, you're gonna be ok?_

_\- Sure..._

  
  


Stone ran his hands in his pants pockets, checked if his wallet was on it and left. As soon as he left, Eddie heard steps. He looked to the whole parking lot, he was alone. He rubbed his eyes, perhaps he was tired and when he opened his eyes, the homeless man was in front of him. This time he could saw a hole on his windbreaker jacket and he could also saw the man's lips.

  
  


_\- Do you have a cigarette?_ \- the man asked to him and he took a pack of cigarettes of his flannel pocket and gave one to the man - _Thanks, Eddie. You're too kind._

_\- Fine! How do you know my name?_

_\- Jerry told me once..._

_\- Oh..._ \- He lit a cigarette and lit the cigarette on the man's lips. - _You're ok?_

_\- I'm always ok, Eddie... I just... Came to tell you something it occurred to me to tell you._

_\- And what it is?_

_\- Well, some people take desperate actions when they feel rejected or scared. You'll never know what people are going to do, but knowing these people very fucking well, I would tell you that you must keep your emotional balanced. Even thought it is very fucking difficult, I know that you know it is difficult, but it's necessary. Be careful, don't be harder on yourself. And think about it..._ \- the man laughed - _If you don't remember, you didn't anything. Don't take desperate actions too, but if you take, I'll be there for you._ \- he took a long drag on the cigarette and the smoke left through his lips.

 _\- Well..._ \- Eddie was taken by surprise, but smiled - _Thank you for the advice... I guess…_

  
  


And with the smoke of his own cigarette blocking his view, the homeless man vanished in the air. He frowned.

  
  


_\- Hi, Eddie!_

_\- Oh, hi, Kurt..._

_\- Talking to yourself?_ \- Kurt smiled.

_\- N-no... What?_

  
  


Kurt got closer and ran his finger through Eddie's face and Eddie shrank a little bit.

  
  


- _Are you alright?_ \- he asked, frowning.

 _\- Y-yeah... I'm ok._ \- he said trying to avoid eye contact with the blond boy. - _How can I help you?_

  
  


Kurt was still looking at him, lost.

  
  


_\- Kurt?! How can I help you?_

_\- Oh, sorry... I spaced out... I need Dramamine._

_\- Ok, come on..._ \- the smaller boy said going inside the drugstore, confused.

  
  


Eddie took the Dramamine box, passed on the barcode reader, said the product value, Kurt gave him the money and took the box.

  
  


_\- Hm... Eddie... You'll go to Jeff's party tomorrow?_

_\- Yeah, I'll..._

_\- Nice! I'll see you tomorrow then._ \- The blond boy smiled, leaving a confused expression on Eddie's face.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the drama went too far just like in a soap opera, but I needed to put this on the fic. 
> 
> And, please, forgive Chris for being an asshole. 
> 
> :)

Layne went up stairs running, Eddie was after him. The door was already opened and they went in Chris and Jerry's apartment. Chris was lying on the couch, but then he got up to let Eddie sit.

  
  


_\- Aren't you ready yet?_ \- Layne said.

\- _Don't start with this shit, Jerry is not ready yet, I'm always ready._ \- Chris said, smiling at Eddie.

 _\- CANTRELL!_ \- Layne went to his boyfriend room.

 _\- I'm coming, just a second!_ \- He opened the door then - _Come on._

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Jeff's house was full of people and the music was loud. Layne went to the kitchen and took some bottles, when he came back, he gave each one a bottle. Jerry opened the bottle with his teeth.

  
  


_\- Do you still do that?_ \- Eddie asked laughing.

_\- There is no better way to do this._

_\- Your dentist must love it, right? You give him more work than ten children with dental caries._ \- Chris said and Eddie chocked on his beer, laughing.

  
  


They started to drink. Eddie's got drunk easily. Chris didn't have a good feeling, neither Jerry. The fact was that Eddie was drinking his fifth beer. Layne convinced Jerry that the boy would be fine and that they could dance a little. Chris went to bathroom.

  
  


_\- Eds!_

_\- Gossard!_

_\- Dude... Let me tell you something. You need to drink this! It's fucking awesome!_ \- Stone gave him a cup, then Eddie took a few sips and returned the cup to Stone.

 _\- What's in this shit?_ \- the boy frowned.

 _\- I don't have idea..._ \- Stone grinned - _It's Jeff's secret recipe. He calls it Bombshell 'cause it's so seductive as the sexy symbols._ \- he laughed - _I think there's some pineapple._

_\- No, no! Lemon._

_\- Lemon?_ \- the boy made a face and took another sip on it - _Ok... lemon._

 _\- GOSSARD!_ \- Jeff called him.

 _\- I'll be back..._ \- he laughed again and went to Jeff.

  
  


And now Eddie was alone, surrounded by a lot of people. He was a little dizzy, maybe because of the drink Stone had gave to him.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


The blond boy was on the other side of the living room. He made Stone's way to Jeff with his eyes, leaving Eddie there, completely alone. He hadn't much time to think about it and about the consequences. He had that opportunity and that opportunity only and he didn't want to miss it. He slapped his own face just to wake and went towards the boy.

  
  


_\- Hi..._ \- He said.

_\- Hi, Kurt... How are you?_

_\- Oh!_ \- Kurt smiled from ear to ear - _I'm fucking better now..._

_\- W-what?_

_\- I said I'm better now... You're alright? You look kind of dizzy, I don't know._

_\- Nah! I'm great._

_\- That's good..._ \- he said, getting closer.

_\- W-what are you doing?_

_\- Nothing, I just..._ \- The blond boy ran a hand through Eddie's cheekbones and then his hand slid up to the boy's neck.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


_"I woke the same as any other day, except a voice was in my head”_

  
  


Chris was walking among people, to get to Eddie, but saw Kurt was with him.

  
  


_"It said seize the day, pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"_

  
  


He looked from where he was to that and frowned. There was no more loud music in his ears, just silence, an uncomfortable silence. There was no people on Jeff's living room as well, he couldn't see all those people.

  
  


_"The day I tried to live I stole a thousand beggar's change and gave it to the rich"_

  
  


He took a deep breath, his heart was beating like crazy. Kurt kissed Eddie and Chris ignored the fact that the smaller boy tried to push the other away.

  
  


_"The day I tried to win I dangled from the power lines and let the martyrs stretch"_

  
  


He didn't care in deviate of people. There was no one else there, just Eddie, Kurt and him. He went running over everyone like a tractor, including Jerry, Kurt and Eddie and went straight to an office Jeff had on that floor. Locking himself on it.

  
  


_“One more time around”_

  
  


_\- Chris?!_

  
  


Eddie called him, but the boy had already disappeared among the people, he looked at Jerry waiting for help, but the boy also hadn't understand nothing, then he left Kurt there and went to look for Chris. As much as he was dizzy and drunk he could heard loud screams and noises coming from behind a door.

  
  


_\- Chris?_ \- he called again and the noises and screams stopped - _Chris, are you there? If you are, please, open the door..._ \- Eddie tried to opened the door, but it was locked - _Chris! Open the fucking door! What's happening?_ \- He heard a little laugh, but it wasn't like the person there was having fun.

- _What's happening?_ \- Chris asked from behind the door - _Consult your conscience._

_\- My conscience? What do you mean? Let me in..._

_\- Just leave me alone, ok?_

_\- No! Open the door!_

  
  


Chris knew that the boy wouldn't give up, so he wiped his face with the back of his hand and unlocked the door. Eddie entered the small office and didn't noticed the hole on the dry wall, but noticed the taller boy's hand, that was bleeding. He, quickly, went to the boy and hold his hand, but the boy pushed him. He raised his eyebrows.

  
  


_"The day I tried to live I wallowed in the blood and mud with all the other pigs"_

  
  


_\- What do you want? You can say it or leave._

  
  


Eddie felt the cold hit his whole skin; Chris was the Iceberg and he was the Titanic.

  
  


_\- W-why... Why are you talking with me like that? What did I do to you?_

_\- I said once and I'll say just one more time... Consult your fucking conscience._

  
  


_"One more time around"_

  
  


The smaller boy was, clearly, confused. His head was on the size of a balloon and he was too dizzy, Chris' coldness made his body unbalance.

  
  


_\- Yeah, I already consulted my fucking conscience and I came to... Hm... No conclusion!_

_\- Right... You want to know what you did to me?_

_\- Oh, for sure._

  
  


Chris got closer him and then pushed him on the wall, looking him right in the eyes. He could saw that Eddie was scared. He ran his fingers through the boy's cheeks and lips. Eddie froze, he couldn't stand on his own legs, his breathing betrayed him.

  
  


_\- Wait! What?_ \- he said.

 _\- You asked me something and I'm giving you my answer._ \- Chris said in a whisper, crying.

  
  


That would sound very romantic in another situation, but there, in the small office on Jeff's house sounded just sad.

  
  


Chris didn't think in nothing else, so he pressed his lips against Eddie's, taking him, completely, by surprise, he thought maybe Eddie would push him away, but it wasn't what happened. The smaller boy kissed him back and that was what hurt the most, so he moved away.

  
  


_\- Get out..._

_\- I won't go until you explain to me what's going on._ \- Eddie locked the door and throw the key inside his underwear.

 _\- Really?_ \- Chris raised his eyebrows.

_\- Yes._

  
  


Chris got closer again, put his hand inside Eddie's underwear and took the key. He looked at the smaller boy once more, pushed the boy so he could went out and left Eddie alone there, confused and lost.

  
  


_"The day I tried to live just like you"._


	16. Chapter 16

Eddie woke up with his head exploding, he could barely open his eyes and, when he opened, he saw that Layne was there looking at him. He didn't remember anything that had happened the night before.

  
  


_\- Why did you turn on the lights, Staley? For fuck's sake!_

_\- I didn't._ \- Layne smiled to him.

_\- What happened?_

_\- You drank as fuck, this is what happened._

_\- How did I get here?_ \- he sat on his bed, trying to keep his eyes opened.

_\- Jerry and Stone helped me to bring you here._

_\- Chris... Is Chris home?_

_\- I think yes..._ \- Layne pressed his lips together - _But I really don't think it's a good idea you go there to check._

 _\- Why? What do you mean?_ \- The blond boy remained looking at him - _Layne! What do you mean?_

 _\- Knowing him as I do, if anyone goes there now, he'll kick this person ass til it fall down the stairs, but don't ask me what happened, I know as much as you. He just ran over everyone on Jeff's house and disappeared, then you disappeared after as well._ \- he sighed - _When you came back, you were crying and asked us what the fuck you had done._

_\- And what did I do?_

  
  


Layne shrugged.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Chris hadn't been able to sleep, his head was aching and he felt sick. The ticking of the clock on the wall disturbed him. He got up from his bed, in a rush, took the clock and throw it on the ground, breaking it. He didn't want to cry so he had to solve that another way. He pushed everything that was on his table also on the ground, the noise of the things falling on the ground disturbed him even more, then he punched the wall with the hand covered by bandages and his fingers began to bleed again. His room door opened.

  
  


_\- GET OUT!_

Jerry remained there, looking to the boy, worried. Try to read Chris' mind was, completely, useless, he kept silent. He wasn't scared, just worried.

  
  


_\- I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT!_

  
  


Jerry remained there. He didn't leave. Chris looked at where Jerry was and went to him, pushing him out of his room. The blond boy rose his arms, in surrender and left the apartment, going to Layne's. Eddie was sat on the table, drinking coffee, the smaller boy put his free hand on his head.

  
  


_\- How are you?_ \- Jerry asked.

_\- I'm feeling exactly like the Titanic when it sank._

  
  


Jerry laughed and sat next to him.

  
  


_\- I don't think this is funny, was the best explanation I could think now. Fuck! My head._ \- Eddie said, frowning and closing his eyes.

_\- I know it's not funny and... I know you're worried about Chris, but yeah, Layne's right, it's not a good idea you go there now._

_\- Shit!_

  
  


Layne went to the kitchen and kissed Jerry's forehead.

  
  


_\- Can I talk with you?_ \- Jerry asked to Layne and the boy nodded - _We'll be right back, ok? Drink your coffee…_

_\- Ok… Mom._

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


_\- I'm... I'm really worried about Chris._ \- Jerry said.

  
  


Layne didn't need to ask nothing, because the noise from the front apartment answered his question.

  
  


_\- What do you think that happened?_ \- He asked.

_\- I don't know, I didn't see anything, and with all those people at Jeff's house I couldn't read anyone's mind. You didn't saw anything?_

_\- No..._ \- He made a face because of all that noise - _I think you should gave him something, I don't know, maybe we can talk with Stone. You know how Chris is._

 _\- What is this noise?!_ \- Eddie was on the door.

 _\- It's... It's nothing..._ \- Layne said - _You should finish your coffee._

_\- I already drank the whole fucking coffee, Dad. What is happening? This noise... Is Chris, isn't it? Well, I'll go talk with him._

  
  


Jerry stepped in front of the boy.

  
  


_\- For your safety, Eddie, don't do this._ \- He said.

_\- What the fuck are you talking about, Junior?! And what about his safety?_

  
  


Eddie pushed his friend and went to the front apartment. The door was opened so he went in.

  
  


_\- Chris?_ \- he asked and heard a door slaming and then the place became silent _\- Chris?_ \- His voice was soft and he was afraid, he got no answers from the boy, he went to Chris room and tried to open the door _\- Chris? Are you ok? Are you hurt?_ \- Nothing - _Chris, please, let me in so we can talk... I don't know what I did to you, but if you explain to me, we can talk to solve it._ \- Nothing again - _Chris, don't do this, please..._ \- His head hurt even more and there was only silence, he sighed - _Ok... I'll leave you alone, I'm sorry for the insistence._

  
  


As soon as he left, the noises came back and he could heard a scream. He already had heard it before, shook his head and went to his place, crying.


	17. Chapter 17

Eddie hadn't seen Chris in a while and when he did, he was ignored. He couldn't sleep anymore and couldn't eat properly, even though Layne insisted. He went back to see the psychiatrist and went back to therapy, because of insomnia and anxiety attacks. It was hard to work, but he needed, so he left and, when he was on the courtyard, he looked up, to the porch of the front building. Chris was there, smoking, looking up, to the stars, distracted. Eddie left without even trying to call the boy. Why would he do that? He went walking to the drugstore and Stone was already there.

  
  


_\- Hey, Eds... How you doin'?_ \- The boy asked him.

 _\- I'm swimming and playing in the shit with the flies._ \- he replied with a forced smile – _How ‘bout you?_

_\- I'm worried with you and Chris..._

_\- Don't need to worry about me, Stone..._ \- He said, sitting on the chair in front of the computer - _I'll be fine as long as I can sleep at least for 8 fucking hours. You need to worry about Chris._

  
  


Eddie gave Stone a paper, a prescription. Stone went to get the medicine and came back in a few seconds, then he gave the box to Eddie and the smaller boy put the money on the glass counter and put the box in his pocket.

  
  


_\- This shit doesn’t have the fucking effect it needed to do._ \- he started tapping his fingers on the counter.

_\- Are you taking at the right times?_

_\- Of course I'm! It doesn't work. I already tried everything and nothing. N o t h i n g! Believe me, Gossard... Warm milk, tea, meditation, therapy, marijuana and this shit! And do you want to know how many days I haven't slept?_ \- Stone nodded - _Four fucking days! And I'm so tired and I'm so angry and it gets worse when I look at the mirror because of these ridiculous dark circles. And I look at it and ask myself what the hell I did to Chris. No one saw anything, just him and I don't know what the fuck he saw._ \- he lay his head down on the counter - _I'm seriously thinking on going back to San Diego beucause I think I'm going mad and this is fucking with my head._

_\- Do you like him, right?_

_\- What?!_

  
  


Stone smiled and scratched his head.

  
  


_\- No one loses sleep, no one loses hunger, no one stays **like that** for nothing, Eddie._

_\- I-I don't fucking know, ok?! What difference does it make now?_

_\- Do you like him or not? - Stone crossed his arms._

  
  


Eddie remembered everytime when he was with Chris and how important he felt when he made the boy smile again and he remembered Chris' smile and how much he liked being close to the boy. He remembered Chris' eyes looking right into his. He remembered when they slept together and what Chris said to him.

  
  


_"You did nothing to me, Chris... It's alright"_

_"But... What if I ever do something to you?"_

  
  


_\- Honestly, Gossard? I-I... Fucking love him._

  
  


Stone smiled.

  
  


_\- Of course you love him, is all over your face and... And... In your dark circles. -_ He said making a move with his finger. _\- So... Or you give up going through it because he is being a toxic asshole or you take action and insist on talking to him like two adults._ \- the boy pressed his lips together and nodded. - _I’m sure he loves you too._

_\- I don't think so..._

  
  


The drugstore automatic door opened, Stone looked at it, but again, there was no one. Not that **HE** could see, but he saw Eddie waving at no one and he got scared. He took a step back.

  
  


_\- Hi..._ \- The homeless man said to Eddie - _Don't need to introduce me to him, he knows me more than anyone._ \- he smiled looking at Stone's scared face. - _But he can't see me._

 _\- What's happening?_ \- Eddie asked.

  
  


The homeless man was still looking at Stone.

  
  


_\- I only came to ask you not to do anything stupid. I know what are you thinking, Vedder and I know what's gonna happen, I'm just trying to prevent it from happening._

_\- Eddie…_ \- Stone said, terrified - _With who are you talking to?_

 _\- What?_ \- Eddie asked.

_\- With who are you talking to?!_

_\- I'm... I'm sorry... I thought I saw someone here..._

_\- There's... There's only you and me._

  
  


The homeless man looked back to Eddie.

  
  


_\- Or you give up going through it because he is being a toxic asshole or you take action and insist on talking to him like two adults. Chris is a nice guy, but he can't see that. Don’t do anything stupid._

  
  


Eddie's eyes widened, the door opened again and the homeless man left. Eddie looked at Stone that was really scared.

  
  


_\- I think I'm already crazy._ \- he said.

_\- It... It must be some hallucination, y-you said you haven't slept for four days, right? That's it._

_\- It could be... But you saw that fucking door open again and again, right? No one came or left through it._

_\- What...This... This smell..._ \- Stone sniffed like a dog - _Can you smell it, Eddie?_

- _No... What smell?_ \- Eddie frowned.

  
  


Eddie could saw a little smile in Stone's face.

  
  


_\- I love this smell... It's a cotton candy and toffee apple mix._

_\- I can't... I can't smell it..._

  
  


Stone was scared, he knew whose smell it was, but he preferred to be quiet.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the drama goes on. c:

Eddie hadn't shown up for work, he was 40 minutes late and Stone was worried, because even though he was not able to work, he refused to take a break or go on vacation, but that night he was not there. The boy behind the counter picked up the phone and dialed some numbers.

  
  


_"Hello..." -_ Layne said.

_\- Is Eddie there?_

_"No, he said he was going to work, I thought he was already there... Isn't he there?"_

_\- No, he's not here yet. He's late and I'm worried about him. If he shows up here, I'll call you and if he shows up there, you call me._

_"All right, I'll see if Jerry knows anything."_

_\- Okay... thanks._

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Chris couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling for a few hours. He was thinking about Eddie and how much he missed him. He thought he was too stupid to act like that because he never said anything about his feelings to the boy. He never said he loved him, so why act like that? He got up and faced the wall for a few minutes.

  
  


_\- I'm a fucking son of a bitch._ \- he said to himself.

  
  


The phone rang and he left his room to answer, but Jerry had already answered. He just stood there listening. He had a bad feeling and felt even worse.

  
  


_\- Hello..._

_"Jer... Is Eddie there?"_

_\- No, he's not here... Actually he never came here again, why?_

  
  


Chris felt the weight of a ton go down his throat and hit his stomach.

  
  


_"I'm worried, Jer... I don't know... He's gone."_

_\- What do you mean he's gone?!_ \- Jerry changed the tone of his voice, rising up from the couch.

The boy standing there in the room, listening to the conversation, went to him, he could realize that the boy was worried and that he was about to cry.

  
  


"Stone called me asking if he was here, he hadn't gotten there yet, he was late... He is never late, never misses work. Cantrell, I'm scared."

  
  


Jerry looked at Chris and the boy was, really, crying.

  
  


_\- Okay, don't worry, we'll find him._

_"I hope so... I hope he didn't do anything stupid..."_

_\- He didn't, don't talk like that... Layne, don't you trust me?_

_"Y-Yes..."_

_\- Good, then calm down... Everything will be fine._

  
  


Layne had turned off the phone.

  
  


_\- They don't know where Eddie is, is that it?_ \- Chris asked and Jerry nodded - _And that's my fault, right?_

_\- Chris... Don't talk like that, it's not your fault._

  
  


The other one let a laugh escape while crying.

  
  


_\- Cut the shit, Cantrell, I know it's my fault. Anyway... I need to find him._ \- He ran to his room, put on any clothes and came back - _Are you really going to stand there?! I won't wait for him to show up at the drugstore, I won't wait for any phone call from Stone or Layne, I CAN'T WAIT! Will you help me look for him or not? I have no problem going alone!_

  
  


And at that very moment, Jerry could read Chris' mind. He opened his mouth.

  
  


_\- Are you going with me or not, you little shit?!_

_\- I'm going... Come on..._

  
  


They left home in a hurry and Jerry locked the door. Layne was in the courtyard, sitting next to the fountain.

  
  


_\- Where are you going?_

_\- What do you mean where are we going?!_ \- Chris said almost screaming - _Let's go find Eddie... He must not have left town, you must have checked if he took his stuff and also, he must not be far away. Are you coming?_

 _\- S-sure..._ \- he got up and gave his hand to Jerry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it so obvious? If so, I'm sorry. :c
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Accidents with insomnia/anxiety medication.

Eddie was there, he didn't know where he was, but he knew he was conscious. He couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't stand up. He started saying some things, he knew that nobody could really hear him. He just wanted to sleep, nothing more. He managed to open his eyes for a moment and looked at the sky, it was beautiful, some stars and some clouds. The stars lights started to get blurred and he closed his eyes again.

_"Eddie... Wake up!"_

_\- I don't want to wake up... Do you... D-doo you know how... How looooong I haven't slept?_

_"Yes, but you need to wake up, look at me..."_

_\- W-who are you?_

_"Your friend…"_

Eddie looked at him. He was handsome, his long, blonde and curly, hair, it wasn't moving, no matter how much wind. His eyes were blue, almost gray and the boy smiled at him. It was a very beautiful and bright smile and Eddie was sure he saw a kind of light around the boy and the cotton candy smell was everywhere.

_\- I'm that homeless man who talks to you sometimes, my name is Andy..._

_\- You don't... You don't loo-ok like him..._ \- he laughed.

 _\- But I'm him, I left you the message at the cafe, remember? How would I know that if I wasn't him? Come on, I'll help you up..._ \- the boy helped him up and Eddie could feel that the boy's hand was very cold, it was very cold so he didn't get strange - _I'll get help. I woke you up so that I could talk to you, if you can't stay awake there's no problem and if you can't sleep, don't make any effort, stay quiet, are you listening to me?_

_\- Y-Yes..._

_\- All right. I'll get help._

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Eddie hadn't shown up at the drugstore and Stone decided that calling Layne would make things worse, he took his car's keys, closed the drugstore earlier and left to look for the boy. Inside the car he looked at the glass and had started to rain. The signal closed and he punched the steering wheel. That traffic light took about 4 minutes to open and he didn't have all that time. He looked at the right side of the street and on the sidewalk, there was a beggar and this beggar pointed to the traffic light which changed from red to green in less than a minute and Stone raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand anything, but honked at the beggar as thanks. At the intersection he saw that Chris, Layne and Jerry were walking down the street and stopped the car.

_\- C'mon in!_

The other three didn't think twice and came in. Chris sat down next to Stone.

_\- All this shit is my fault! I'm a fucking motherfucker!_ \- he said.

Jerry kept looking at Chris, as well as he did all the way til Stone stop the car. The car started to move again and they passed through the whole city, all the alleys. Eddie was nowhere to be found. Stone parked the car in a place without checking which place it was. Chris got out of the car and walked a little, they were on the beach. He looked at his right side, above his head, a statue of liberty. He had a déjà vu. He looked ahead and saw the Space Needle on the horizon. Jerry kept looking at Chris and he already knew everything. Everything that was happening and he knew where Eddie was. Jerry knew he was the person running in Chris' dream. He let go of Layne's hand and ran out into the sand. Chris could feel his hair swinging with the little wave of wind that Jerry left as he passed by his side, running.

_\- HERE!_ \- He shouted.

  
  


Eddie was lying there, trying to look at the sky, he could hardly keep his eyes open. Chris and the other two ran to the sand.

  
  


_\- Eddie?!_ \- Chris sat down in the sand and brought Eddie close to him, hugging him.

 _\- C-chris?_ \- he asked with his eyes closed and smiled - _Oh... S-sorry... Hi._

  
  


The boy's voice was slurred, but the others could understand something.

  
  


_\- Hi... I'm here, I got you!_ \- The taller boy said and dried his face with his hand.

  
  


Jerry looked at Eddie's side and there was a bottle, almost full, of water and a Valium blister pack with 5 less pills.

_\- Okay..._ \- he said - _We need to take him to a hospital._

 _\- Hospital?_ \- Eddie asked - _H-he really went... to get he-elp._

 _\- Who?_ \- Layne asked.

_\- That homeless guy, my friend... He told me his name, but... But... I... I don't remember. Where is he?_

Stone looked around, there was nobody there but them, but the cotton candy smell was there too. He didn't know the reason, but he smiled.

\- _I don't know where he is, Eddie... but well, I'm here. I'm here with you..._ \- Chris said - _C'mon, let's take you to the hospital..._ \- he pick him up and walked to Stone's car, the others followed him.

Stone sat in the driver's seat and Jerry sat next to him, Chris sat next to Layne in the back seat and Eddie was in his lap, almost asleep.

_\- Eddie, wake up... You can't sleep now, okay?_ \- Chris said quietly in the boy's ear.

_\- Do y-youu forgive mee?_

_\- I don't have to forgive you, you're the one who needs to forgive me, but let's not talk about it now, it's okay, we're coming._

_\- Are you... Aare you crying?_

_\- N-no... Don't worry about me, I'm fine._

_\- Ston... Stone?_ \- he called.

_\- Yes?_

_\- That night at the Druuug... At the drugstore. Thaaat night... Wheen the do-or opened by itself while we weere... there. Do you... remember?_

_\- Yes, I remember..._ \- Stone thought it was a good idea to talk to him, so he stayed awake.

 _\- M-my friend, the homeless... Guy. He went there._ \- Eddie coughed, his mouth was dry.

\- _There was nobody there, Eds..._

_\- There was, theeere waas and he told me thaat... that I didn't need to... I didn't need to introduce him to yoou... because... because you... you knew him more than anyone, but that... you... you couldn't see him._

  
  


Stone swallowed hard, but he kept his eyes glued to the road.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the medical procedures, I wrote based on what happened with my friends, I have never experienced anything like this. I thought it was important to highlight it here. If there is something wrong about it, I kindly ask you to tell me and forgive me for the mistake.

They arrived at the hospital and Layne went to ask some nurse for a wheelchair. The nurse left with him and went to the car. Jerry got out of the car and opened the door to get Eddie and put him in the chair. Chris took the chair into the hospital and sat in a chair next to the wheelchair. Layne went to solve the bureaucratic part and Stone asked them to call his mother.

  
  


_\- C-Chris... You still... Are you still mad at me?_

_\- No! I'm not mad at you._ \- He got up from the chair and bent down a little so that the other could see him - _I'm not mad at you, I have no reason to be mad at you..._ \- he ran his fingers over the boy's face and kissed his forehead.

 _\- I-I..._ \- he laughed, his eyes closed - _I like that..._ \- the laughter turning into a shy smile.

  
  


Stone's mother showed up at the reception a few minutes later and he went to her.

  
  


_\- What happened to this handsome boy here?_ \- she said approaching the wheelchair.

 _\- Hiii..._ \- he said, smiling like a fool - _W-who are you?_

 _\- I'm Stone's mother, I'll take care of you._ \- she smiled.

 _\- Is he going to be okay, Carol?_ \- Chris asked worried.

_\- Of course he's going to... Did he take any medicine?_

_\- Five Vallium pills, it's the medicine he already takes, but the doctor prescribed only one pill..._ \- Stone said.

_\- Ok..._

  
  


She went to the reception and said something to the receptionist.

  
  


_\- Ok, they are preparing the medications. I will explain, we will have to do a detox on him and then he will stay in observation. After all this, if there are no problems, someone will have to sign his exit._

_\- I'll sign it!_ \- Chris said.

_\- All right..._

  
  


Two nurses came out of the elevator with a stretcher and went to them, put Eddie under it.

  
  


_\- Carol! Can I... Can I go with him?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- Unfortunately no, sweetheart... But I'll update you always._

_\- All right..._ \- he said, frustrated.

  
  


The nurses got into the elevator with the stretcher and Stone's mother followed them.

  
  


_\- I don't know about you, but I really need a cigarette._ \- Layne said.

 _\- I'm going to be right here, I'm not leaving here! If he has to stay here 24 hours, 72 hours, I'll stay here._ \- Chris answered.

 _\- You can go... I'll stay here with him..._ \- Stone said.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
Jerry put two cigarettes in his mouth, lit both and delivered one to Layne, who took it and put it in his mouth.

  
  


_\- Cantrell?_

_\- Hm?_

_\- What the fuck is going on?_

_\- Do you remember Jeff's party?_

_\- Yes..._

_\- Chris saw Kurt kiss Eddie. I mean, he's so, so, so in love._

_\- Wait! Wait! What? You could read his mind?_

_\- Ever since you called me asking if Eddie was in my apartment. And there's more, babe... Eddie followed him, right?_

_\- Yes._

_\- So they had a little conversation where Eddie asked him what he'd done and Chris kissed him, he thought he was gonna get a slap or something, a punch right in the nose, but no..._

_\- WHAT?_

_\- Yeah! That's not what happened..._ \- He smiled.

_\- Eddie likes him!_

_\- Yes. I read his and Stone's mind. They kind of talked about it._

  
  


Layne let a scream slip, he looked like a teenager watching a romantic comedy. Jerry laughed.

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

_\- What is this little shit screaming out there?_ \- Stone asked.

 _\- I don't know..._ \- Chris smiled.

 _\- I'm going out there, I want to know. I'll be right back._ \- He got up and left.

  
  


Chris stayed inside, looked at the walls, didn't like that place, brought back bad memories and he didn't judge any of the other three because they wanted to be outside. After about 50 minutes the elevator door opened and Stone's mother went to him. He got up quickly.

_\- How is he doing?_

_\- He is doing well, we just did the detox, he is sedated because he was very agitated and needs to rest... I need to talk to you... I need to ask you a question._

_\- Sure... What is it?_

_\- Does Eddie know anything about Andy? Did anyone ever comment with him?_

  
  


Chris was speechless. What kind of question was that?

  
  


_\- I-I never commented with him, I don't know if the others have, but I don't think so. I guess nobody ever wants to talk about it... Why?_

_\- He was asking about Andy, he said that he helped him, that he went to get help and that right after Andy left, you arrived._

_\- What?!_

_\- Yes... That's what he said. Even if he was hallucinating, which would be very likely, how would he know? Someone must have commented..._

_\- Carol, does Stone talk about this with you?_

_\- No._

_\- He doesn't talk about it with anyone, when someone touches this subject, another person starts to talk about anything else and..._ \- Chris looked at her.

_\- What?_

_\- N-nothing... I'm going to talk to Jerry, see if they ever talked about it. They have been friends for longer._

_\- All right... Ah! Chris... Visiting hours are at 11:00, you can go up there, to see him later._ \- she smiled.

 _\- Okay, thanks!_ \- he smiled.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas late for those who celebrate Christmas and I hope you all have an amazing new year because that's exactly what you are, amazing. I hope that 2021 will be a better year for all of us and I hope you take care of yourselves, you are very important. <33

The three boys outside the hospital were laughing, leaning against Stone's car, but Jerry turned his face to the hospital door. Chris was outside, lit a cigarette and quickly released the smoke through his nostrils, but he didn't go near them.

  
  
_\- I'll be right back, Chris wants to talk to me._  
_\- I want a kiss before you go there..._ \- Layne said and Jerry gave him a quick kiss, leaving afterwards.  
_\- I want a kiss too, Cantrell!_ \- Stone said, laughing.  
_\- Let Jeff know that..._

_\- What?_

_\- Believe me..._

  
  


He walked up to Chris and the boy didn't have to say anything, they looked at Stone who laughed with Layne.

  
  


_\- I never told him anything, in fact, neither with Layne I ever talked about it..._

_\- Me neither, I never told anything._

_\- I think, of all the people, Stone is the one who has more difficulty to talk about it, why would he tell this to Eddie?_

_\- I don't know, maybe he got confidence?_

_\- Stone is not like that... Besides, who wrote the note that is your pocket and left in his grave?_

_\- What?_

_\- You found this note the day you met Eddie... Am I wrong?_

_\- N-no..._

_\- A lot of coincidence that note was there that day, huh?_

_\- Jerry... The message in your mailbox, Eddie's message playing by itself._

_\- The message to Layne in his bathroom box, the message on the glass of the bar, the drugstore door opening by itself, the message on the drugstore computer, the Valium box falling on the floor, the conversations that Eddie heard in my room, your dream, the beggar telling Eddie that he didn't need to introduce him to Stone because Stone knew him very well... The beggar, Chris._

_\- The beggar... There's no way anyone could have told him, and he found this guy when he got here. He saved Eddie..._ \- Chris felt that a tear had fallen from his eye and he didn't bother - _Andy protected him... He took care of him. I-I... I don't even know what to say. Do you think we should tell them?_

_\- Yeah... But... How? I wasn't ready for that... I'll tell Stone what? "Look, your dead boyfriend showed up and saved my friend"? Oh, please..._

Chris walked to the two boys in the car and Jerry followed him. The two looked at Stone who smiled.

  
  


_\- What? What was it?_ \- he asked and the two looked at each other - _Chris? Is Eddie ok? What happened?_

_\- Eddie is fine... We... need to talk to you._

_\- Why me?_

  
  


Jerry passed his tongue over his own lips.

  
  


_\- Do you remember... When Eddie told you about the beggar and said that he went to the drugstore and that this beggar said that he didn't need to be introduced to you because you knew him very well?_ \- Chris asked.

  
  


Stone crossed his arms and bit his lower lip.

  
  


_\- You smelled it, right? Cotton candy and toffee apple. You smelled it on the beach too..._ \- Jerry said, Stone nodded

 _\- Your mother came to talk to me now and asked me if anyone had ever talked to Eddie about Andy. Did you talk to him about it?_ \- Chris continued, the boy's response was just a negative gesture with his head - _Layne? Did you talk to him about it?_

_\- No._

_\- Where are you going with this?_ \- Stone asked, he was crying, Layne hugged him.

 _\- Eddie was asking for him... He said he went to get help and soon after we showed up... You saw him too, didn't you? The beggar?_ \- Jerry asked and the boy agreed.

\- _I-I... And he changed the color of the traffic light. I-I thought I was going crazy and I..._ \- he said sniffing - _I honked at him, I-I... He saved Eddie's life. He still cares about you guys... He still cares about me._ \- he smiled.

 _\- Yes, apparently, your ghost boyfriend saved Eddie's life._ \- Jerry said.

- _Shut up, loser!_ \- Layne said.

  
  


Chris laughed and dried Stone's face with the sleeve of his jacket.

_\- It's only going to be a problem telling Eddie that..._ \- Stone said as he cried and laughed - _Imagine that... "Eddie, a ghost saved your life._


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS! 
> 
> Be safe <3

Chris got off the elevator and went to Eddie's room. He gently opened the door and went in. The boy was asleep and seemed calm. He went to the bed and ran his fingers over the boy's pale face.

  
  


_\- I hope you'll forgive me for being an asshole..._ \- he said whispering, kissed Eddie's forehead and raised his body a little, rubbing his fingers in his hair. - _I really was a fucking asshole with you... I don't know what happened with me... I think you remember when I said that Jerry and I were afraid to be happy afraid of losing everything..._ \- he dried his face with the sleeve of his jacket and sat down in a chair that was there _\- I'm fucking scared, I never told you about how I felt and I still found myself in the right to feel jealous... I'm a motherfucker, that's what I am. But that's it, I froze when Layne called Jerry and said you were missing, I remembered that nightmare... I think now I know who talked to me on it and I am so, so, so grateful that he helped you, because he knows how I feel about you. He knows that I love you very much and that I would never forgive me if something happened to you... And I want you to wake up soon and I want you to agree to go with me to the movies to watch any fucking movie and I want so much to do a lot of cliché stuff, because that's what I am, a fucking cliché._ \- he laughed.

  
  


Eddie coughed and opened his eyes. Chris got up quickly and went to him.

  
  


_\- Hey!_ \- he said.

 _\- Oh... Hi..._ \- Eddie smiled.

 _\- How are you?_ \- Chris put a lock of his hair behind his ear.

_\- Well, I guess... Where am I?_

_\- In the hospital..._

_\- Andy went to call you, right?_

  
  


Chris took a deep breath.

  
  


_\- How he looks like? - he asked._

_\- Very handsome..._ \- he laughed - _Blonde, long and curly hair, a very beautiful smile and a very cold hand... Do you know him?_

_\- Yes, but... We talk about it later, ok?_

_\- Uhum... Chris?_

_\- Yes?_

_\- Are you still mad at me?_

_\- No, I'm not mad at you. I wanted to apologize to you..._

_\- It's okay, I just... I missed you._ \- he smiled.

_\- I missed you too... Soon you'll be out of here, Stone's mother said you need to stay in observation._

_\- Can you please let Stone's mom know that I'm not in the mood to stay here?_ \- he smiled.

_\- But you have to. I'm staying here, it's not a big deal, but we can talk._

_\- Of course it's a big deal, but you need to rest, don't you?_

_\- Nah, I'm fine._

_\- Were you crying?_

_\- I... I was just worried about you, that's all... In fact, visiting hours are almost over._

_\- It's okay, I want you to go home, you'll come back tomorrow, you don't have to stay here. Go home and rest._

_\- Fine... I'll come back tomorrow._ \- He approached and kissed the boy's forehead - _Good night._

_\- Good night, Chris._

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Stone left his friends at the condominium and went to Jeff's house as Jerry had advised him midway through. He licked his lips and rang the bell. Nobody answered, it was already late, probably the boy was sleeping. He turned and started walking towards his car.

  
  


_\- Stone?_ \- Jeff was at the door.

_\- H-hi! I-I... I was walking by and decided to stop and say hi._

_\- Do you want to come in?_

  
  


He went to the door and walked in.

_\- Is everything okay? Were you crying?_

_\- Actually, I was._

_\- What happened? Come... come with me_.

  
  


They went up to Jeff's room to talk. Stone needed it, he needed to talk about it, he had never talked to anyone about it, and he always pretended it was okay. No, it wasn't okay. He explained everything to Jeff, everything that happened with Eddie, he talked about Andy, they talked a lot and at no point did the boy doubt him or the others and Stone felt like he took a weight off his shoulders.

  
  


_\- Your mother is on call today, you said?_

_\- Yes..._

_\- Why don't you stay here with me? I don't like the idea of leaving you alone._

_\- I don't want to get in your way._

  
  


Jeff smiled and passed his hand over Stone's hair.

  
  


_\- I don't remember you ever getting in my way before._

_\- I'm sorry._

_\- Don't apologize, it's ok. You stay with me here today, there's still time to watch X-files. What do you think?_

_\- It's okay... you convinced me._

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

_\- You fucking little shit!_ \- Jerry said, laughing.

 _\- What did I do?_ \- Chris asked.

 _\- What did you do?_ \- Layne asked laughing, as he returned from the kitchen with three mugs of coffee.

 _\- I know what's going on... I can read your mind now, it's an open book, no more fucking walls for me now, HA!_ \- Jerry said pointing the finger in the boy's face.

  
  


Chris swallowed it dry.

  
  


_\- I don't know what you guys are talking about._

_\- Oh, you don't know?_ \- Layne asked - E _ven if Cantrell couldn't read your mind... Chris, you're so obvious! Tattooed on your forehead... "I'll be here 48, 72 hours if I have to"_ \- he handed the mugs to the other two and sat down on the couch - _Ah, suck me!_

  
  


Jerry choked on coffee.

_\- Ok..._ \- Chris gave up - _You're right, Jerry is right. Is that what you wanted to hear?_ \- He put the mug on the living room table and lit a cigarette - _But so what? I'm an asshole... A fucking asshole!_

 _\- I don't know about you, but I love being right. I've always been right._ \- Jerry said - _If Andy's right, why wouldn't I be right?_

 _\- Cool, that's all you're saying, but what if he doesn't like me? Hm? I'll be in the shit._ \- Chris gave a sarcastic smile to the other two.

 _\- I don't know, Christopher, but I have the feeling that you're wrong and I'm right again._ \- Jerry took a sip of coffee, looking the boy in front of him over the mug.

_\- What? What do you mean?_

_\- I just have the feeling, okay?_

  
  


Jerry knew it was better that Eddie spoke for himself, so he said nothing and when Layne was going to open his mouth he put the mug that he held in the boy's mouth.

  
  


_\- Hm... What delicious coffee you made, my angel! Have a little sip!_ \- he smiled at Layne, while Layne drank his coffee, without understanding a thing.

  
  



	23. Chapter 23

Stone stopped the car in front of the condominium and saw that Layne, Jerry and Chris were already there. Jeff was with him, in the passenger seat.

  
  


_\- Get in, bitches!_ \- Stone yelled.

  
  


Layne showed his middle finger to him and went in, the other two went in next.

  
  


_\- How was the night?_ \- Jerry asked - _I know very well which X-files episode you watched..._

 _\- Hm... X-files, huh?_ \- Chris asked.

 _\- Fuck you..._ \- Stone answered laughing - _Chris, are you ready to get your princess out of the dungeon?_

_\- You really don't know how to play, do you?_

  
  


· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


When they arrived at the hospital, Stone's mother was already at the reception waiting for them and accompanied Chris there so he could sign Eddie's release, he signed and then got into the elevator. When the door opened he went to the room where Eddie was.

  
  


_\- Hi..._ \- he said shy.

 _\- Hey! I'm glad you came to save me..._ \- the shorter one laughed.

_\- That's what Stone said._

_\- What did he said?_

_\- N-nothing... Shall we?_

  
  


Eddie agreed and they left the room to go to the elevator.

  
  


_\- You know what I really want? Very, very, very much?_

_\- What do you want very, very, very much?_

_\- Pizza._

  
  


Chris laughed.

  
  


_\- So we order pizza when we arrive._

  
  


The elevator door opened and they left.

  
  


_\- There, the princess is safe..._ \- Jerry said laughing and the others laughed.

 _\- Princess?_ \- Eddie asked.

_\- Forget it... How are you?_

_\- Well, better... I'll have to keep taking the medicine anyway and go to therapy, but that's okay..._ \- he shrugged.

_\- Good to do it right... Chris, take care of him while he's not with me at the drugstore._

  
  


Eddie looked at Stone and saw that he was holding hands with Jeff.

  
  


_\- I'm happy for you..._ \- he smiled.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

  
  


Jerry and Chris' apartment wasn't very big, but apparently they all fit there and nobody felt uncomfortable. Layne called the pizza place and then sat next to Jerry, Stone was sitting on the sofa next and Jeff was sitting on the floor with his back on Stone's legs, Eddie was sitting next to Stone and Chris had gone to his room to get money to pay for the pizza, then went back to the living room and handed the money to Layne. The energy was very good.

  
  


\- _I want to know if you know Andy..._ \- Eddie said, taking everyone by surprise. - _Chris said he knows him, I need to know where to find him, I want to thank him._

  
  


Silence. The others looked at each other, so Jerry looked at Chris and shook his head positively. Chris left and went to his room, the boys in the room could hear the noise of a drawer opening and then closing, then Chris came back and showed Eddie a picture.

  
  


\- _That's him, right?_ \- Stone asked the boy who was next to him, then smiled.

_\- Yes! Where is he? Do you know? I just... I really need to thank him._

  
  


Jerry sat a little forward on the couch.

  
  


_\- Don't you think it's strange that only you can see him? You saw him, Stone didn't see him, he said Stone couldn't see him. Don't you think it's strange?_ \- he asked.

- _But I saw him. He's my friend._ \- Eddie smiled innocently.

 _\- Eddie..._ \- Stone said - _He was my boyfriend..._

- _What? What do you mean? Why did you finish? He's very nice..._

 _\- Yes, he is... Ugh! How the fuck am I gonna tell you that?_ \- Stone rubbed his eyes.

 _\- Eddie, he's dead._ \- Jerry said seriously.

  
  


Eddie laughed and looked at everybody in the room.

  
  


- _No..._ \- he kept laughing - _I saw him, he talked to me, he lifted me off the sand_. - He looked at Jerry.

- _And you told Chris that his hand was cold._

_\- Is this some kind of joke?_

_\- Unfortunately not, you heard conversations in my room that day, were the voices of Andy and Chris, right?_

_\- Y-yes..._ \- and Eddie's smile fell apart.

 _\- You said you heard a scream..._ \- Chris said - _It was the scream I gave when I found him dead._

 _\- I-I-I... You're not really kidding..._ \- Eddie was quiet and the silence in the room was disturbing - _B-but..._ \- he remembered all the times he saw Andy and everything he said and that every time he saw or heard him he felt strange somehow - _But he saved me._

 _\- And we are very grateful for that._ \- Chris said and smiled.

 _\- A... Ghost saved me..._ \- he looked at the floor and then to Stone - _Sorry_.

  
  


Stone laughed and broke the heavy weather.

  
  


_\- YES!_ \- he said.


	24. Chapter 24

The pizza had arrived and they ate some pieces, leaving some in the box. Eddie looked at Chris and smiled.

  
  


_\- What?_ \- the boy asked.

 _\- Nothing... There's sauce on your face._ \- He ran his finger over Chris's face and wiped it clean, he heard someone laugh - _What are you laughing at?_

 _\- What?_ \- Jeff asked.

- _Nobody's laughing, Eddie._ \- Layne said.

  
  


Eddie looked at the kitchen counter and saw Andy was there. He smiled and waved. Jerry looked in the same direction and saw nothing, but knew what was happening and thanked in thought, Eddie too and, after thanking him, turned his gaze to Chris. The boy had red cheeks, Eddie realized this and put the glass under the table in the room.

- _Chris?_ \- he asked.

_\- Y-yes?_

_\- Can I talk to you?_

  
  


The tallest one put the glass on the table and nodded. Eddie got up and picked up the pack of cigarettes that was in his pocket. The other followed him and soon they were on the porch. It was cold, but it wasn't unbearable, the sky was clear and starry and the full moon was disputing the lighting with the fountain in the courtyard.

  
  


_\- What is it?_ \- Chris asked.

_\- What happened?_

_\- What do you mean?_

_\- What did I do to you? Why were you ignoring me?_ \- He lit two cigarettes and delivered one to the taller boy.

Chris knew he wouldn't be able to hide it for long, but he felt too stupid to admit it all. He sighed, didn't know where to start.

  
  


_\- Okay..._ \- he said and took a drag - _Do you remember anything about Jeff's party?_

 _\- No, not much... Just that Stone brought me a drink and I had a few sips after that..._ \- he smiled.

\- _He offered you Jeff's Bombshell to drink?_

_\- I guess that was the name yes... Why?_

_\- Shit! Nothing... Well... If you don't remember anything, don't you remember that Kurt kissed you?_

_\- Actually he told me about it a few days ago, we talked and he apologized to me, he was so embarrassed that he disappeared. I haven't seen him for a while, but he didn't explain anything to me either._

_\- Ok..._ \- He took a deep breath - _If you don't..._ \- he supported his elbows on the wooden protection of the porch and looked at the courtyard - _Well, if you don't remember that he kissed you, you also don't remember that I kissed you too._

  
  


Eddie was silent, didn't take his eyes off Chris and was open-mouthed.

  
  


_\- I-I..._ \- he said - _I don't remember._

 _\- I know._ \- The tallest said, sad, still looking at the courtyard - _Anyway, if you don't want to talk to me, I won't judge you._ \- And he looked at the other one - _I just wanted to ask you a favor, I know I couldn't ask you this, because I really was a fucking asshole and very coward, but if... If you want to kiss someone, I would thank you if I didn't have to look._ \- He threw his cigarette in the yard and went to the door.

_\- Where are you going?_

_\- Pizza._ \- he smiled.

_\- Don't you want to hear what I have to say?_

  
  


Chris let go of the door handle and came back, looked at the floor and put his hands in his jeans pocket, didn't want Eddie to see that his hands were shaking, even if he couldn't disguise it much, because he was almost crying. Eddie approached him.

  
  


_\- Can you look at me?_ \- he asked.

 _\- I'm sorry, I can't._ \- Chris said still looking at the floor and realized he was crying.

 _\- Ok..._ \- Eddie smiled and dried Chris' tears with his fingers. - _You told me Kurt kissed me, right?_ \- The boy nodded - _Did I try to push him away?_

 _\- Yes..._ \- he answered with a weak voice.

- _Okay... When you kissed me... did I try to push you away?_ \- he asked, even knowing the answer. Chris shook his head negatively - _No, that's right, I didn't try to push you away... I'm not saying that because I remember something, unfortunately I don't remember that..._ \- the boy looked at him and he smiled - _First... I heard everything you said to me in the hospital._

 _\- I'm sorry..._ \- Chris answered, kept crying and sobbing.

 _\- For saying you love me?_ \- He got a little closer and held Chris' face up high with both hands, looked into his eyes - _You're really a fucking cliché.._. - he smiled - _I am too._

- _You don't seem so cliché to me._ \- Chris said and laughed.

 _\- But I am... You know... You said you kissed me... I don't remember._ \- Eddie bit his lower lip - _I think... I think if you kiss me now, I won't forget, I'm sober now._

_\- Do you... want me to kiss you?_

_\- Yes._ \- The smaller one answered, with his lips close to the other one's, slipped his hands on Chris' face, passing through his neck and reaching the back of his neck.

 _\- I really hope you remember..._ \- Chris smiled.

  
  


Eddie could feel Chris's warm breath and felt the boy's lips touch his, his heart was beating fast, Eddie thought he was going to have a heart attack. Chris leaned Eddie against the wooden railing on the porch and intensified the kiss, always making sure their bodies stayed glued together and felt it was right. Maybe living was that, finding what you love and dying for it. He smiled and walked away, looking into Eddie's eyes.

_\- I don't think I can forget that._ \- The smaller boy laughed - _I love you too, Chris_. - and kissed the boy again, pulling him by his shirt so that he would be even closer.

  
  


The door opened, but they didn't hear and continued what they were doing without notice Stone, Jeff and Jerry. They just kept kissing. The three boys at the door looked for a few minutes and Stone took Jeff by the hand to go away and as he stepped on the first step down the stairs, made a gesture for Jerry to enter and the blond just obeyed.

  
  


Chris walked away again and looked at Eddie.

  
  


_\- I think I owe you a movie, right?_

_\- Yeah, you do... any fucking movie._

  
  


They laughed and went back to the apartment.

  
  


_\- Hey!_ \- Jerry said.

_\- No 'Hey', I just came to get my wallet, but I'm already leaving. Don't wait up._

As soon as Chris entered his room, Jerry looked at Eddie.

_\- "But it's no big deal... He's kind, that's all."_ \- he said childishly.

 _\- Shut up!_ \- Eddie laughed.

  
  


Chris came back.

  
  


_\- Shall we?_

  
  


Eddie nodded and they left.

  
  


_\- "Don't wait up" he said._ \- Jerry laughed - _What a son of a bitch._

_\- I think you can move back in with me now._

_\- Let's see, Staley, let's see..._ \- he answered and kissed Layne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story. I'm really happy, because I really thought nobody would like it. Low self-esteem, sorry. I hope you really liked it and I'm waiting for you to follow the next one I'm already writing. Thank you, again <3


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